My boyfriend and I just broke up. Pls see details. I said some hateful things during the breakup. Why do I feel so guilty for ending it like that?

I was not looking for a man when we met. I'm trying to better myself. But, I met a guy through a friend and decided to give it a shot. At first it was great. I have depression and I've been in a few bad relationships, so I wanted to move slow. Before I knew it, he was saying I was his soul mate and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Kinda freaked me out. But then he tried changing everything about me. He acted like he didn't like to see me happy with friends. He didn't like me smoking or drinking, but he knew that about me when we met. He showed me no support when I talked about things I wanted to try, like meditation. He wasn't sensitive to very personal things I opened up to him about, rather he blew off my story to talk about his own. When we fought he threw everything in my face. Like the fact that he cancelled a golf game because I was admitted into the hospital, and that he bought me flowers for Mother's day, and that he satisfied me in bed, etc.. Things a person who loves you would normally do without thinking twice. I started feeling like I was losing myself so I backed off. Plus he had no sense of humor, which is very important to me. I felt like I couldn't do anything right. And everything was always my fault. Long story short, we had a text fight which ended our relationship. I said some hateful things because I was upset and I feel like he wasted my time. I let my emotions take over. He was NOT the charming man I met. We only dated for 6 months, and fought for most of the time. We broke up one time for a night and he slept with his ex girlfriend that night, then lied about it and has never admitted it. Now, he's blocked me on Facebook and his phone, so I can't apologize for stooping to that level and saying the things I said during our breakup. After he made me feel insignificant and worthless, why do I feel guilty? I just want to move on but it's driving me crazy. I'm not a mean person, just sensitive and emotional. Suggestions please!!!

Updates:
Please, y'all.. I need some advice! Can you tell me what I should do?

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What Guys Said 2

  • it's normal to feel guilty

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  • don't be sad... it's over. Move on, find someone new. He hurt you, so you had a right to tell him off.

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    • Thanks, I did exactly what I'm trying to not do. I'm learning to love myself and everyone else. What I said isn't what someone with a beautiful heart says. I can't take it back, so I'll just take the lesson from it and control my emotions. Thanks for replying.

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