(REALLY NEED HELP UNDERSTANDING GUYS!!) is it too late?

Some background: I was previously married for 10 years, I have 2 girls and I'm a single mom that works two jobs, College educated, work in healthcare. He's never been married, longest relationship is 4 months, no children and works for an oilfield company. we're both the same age.. 16 Days apart. He's a big gym rat - used to weigh upwards of 450lbs and has lost almost 200lbs - he's had some self-esteem issues due to it & feels unaccomplished in life. (I'm not perfect, but pretty confident- not into the gym, but I'm doing it now & I feel very accomplished.) We didn't have a lot in common but I fell inlove with him. -- We both have trust issues - he thinks every guy wants to hit on me and I lost a couple guy friends.. I feel social media is too important to him & that he could've been talking to other girls on snapchat/insta (he likes to post his progress). I broke up with him once- I felt like he wanted different things than me ; he begged me to take him back and I did. But I broke up with him last week because I felt like he wasn't affectionate enough. He never tells me he cares/misses me, and I love showing affection (not clingy though) I regretted it immediately. I've told him I was sorry. I begged him to take me back, but he told me I broke his heart and wants nothing to do with me. He says I was just playing games, but I even took the step of bringing him around my kids and they loved him. I really can't come to terms because I know he wasn't the perfect guy but he was for me and I was looking forward to building a solid future. But he told me that once an ex, it's over. He said 2 days ago he needed time to think and stopped answering my texts (I think he put me on DND or blocked me.) I deleted my snap/insta- I don't want to see how he's doing without me and I don't want him to see how I am without him. I'm heartbroken. Should I leave him alone and let him come back or do I need to be persistent? I don't have a lot of guy friends, and I need an unbiased opinion.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • ... leave him alone... try to reconnect with your lost friends. You don't say much positive about him and the way you described falling in love, made it seem like you were surprised by it! His jealousy seems immature and, frankly, you're a single mother with her sit together. You don't have time for immature.

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    • Well I honestly was surprised that I fell for him, not because of his persona, but we really are quite opposites. And there's onlh so much info i can share in 2,000 characters lol. I tried to build him up and let him know all the time how important he was to me, helped set goals, but that's how he perceived himself.

    • agree- anyone, man or woman who really likes/loves the other will never cause you to lose opposite sex friends. My girlfriend has male friends and I female. It is all about trust and that is the basis for every successful relationship. His insecurity issues need to be resolved and that comes from within him. Nothing you can do about it. Move on.

    • Thank you both for your insight! I appreciate it 😬

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What Guys Said 4

  • Frankly you took him back after worse and yet he won't take you back from because of a breakup that he kinda caused? He seems a bit cold and you even had a problem with that are you sure you want to go after him?

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    • He says he's incapable of showing love. That his exes before him burned him pretty bad and that he knew i could walk out of his life at any minute. I told him he can't judge me based off of his previous relationships though. I know he's cold but he was a really good guy and I know he's worth it. I'm just trying to find out what's going through his mind.. if he really needs time or if i need to accept that I have to move on

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    • Be persistent if you can. If his fears are of partners walking away maybe you persisting will show him otherwise.

    • Nah, just bored and trolling

  • it's best to move on. it sounds toxic

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    • Yes she does. There's nothing worse than a post Wall single mother looking to nail down a provider.

  • Give him time, if you really love him do that, 2-4weeks. Then approach him, if he's ready to talk then, then go for it, solve it. You're in the same spot I'm now with a friend-ish on the job, She (for you, he) sees so much red, that it's boiling, just take a step back, let it cool off.

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    • Damn, 2 to 4 weeks? lol that's eternity to me right now 😏

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    • Happy to help, stay strong :D and remember, smile often, trust me, it helps! just smile for no reason! it has a really strong power!

    • 🤞 here's hoping

  • Haha! You gave him a shit test and he passed with flying colors. Good for him! Leave him alone and go find some other host to latch your single mommy parasite claws into. He made the right decision.

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    • Parasite claws? lol no honey, I take care of myself and my children without the help of anyone. 😒

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    • Nope. I avoid single mothers like the plague. Unless it's a quick pump and dump. I'll give them that, I just won't tell them my real name or let them know where I live. :-)

    • 😂😂😂😂 that's why you're trolling online, because you're such a "player" huh? 😂😂😂😂😂😂

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