Ex Girlfriend back to old boyfriend, contacts me after a month of NC asking for help. Miss her and want to get together again. Don't know what to do?

My ex girlfriend broke up with me about 2 month ago after being together for about 8 months. After the breakup she told me she still loves me and wanted us to be friends but wanted to be able to hangout with other people. About a week after the breakup I saw her together with her old boyfriend how lives in another country. She called me a couple of days later and said she just wanted to hangout with him. After a first and short NC, about 2 weeks she started sending mixed signals like texting ”Your not going to start dating other girls right away are you? but if you find someone you shouldn’t hold back”. We went out for dinner a couple of times, at this point the old boyfriend had left, where she touched me a lot, kissed, and we ended up having sex. We continued to been in contact quite a lot. The last time we went out for dinner she was going to sleep at my place, we would have had sex again but she got her period. We started to talk about our issues as a result she went home, said she had to protect herself? Have now been told by mutual friends that he is coming back and they are going to live together for about 2 months think she now gone to visit him. A couple of days ago I got a email from my ex (after about a month of NC, we have never communicated though email before) with subj "Help". She asked me not to tell her old boyfriend that we had sex after he had gone back home if he contacted me and that her life was falling apart. I replied that she knows I will/would never hurt her in any way. She then replied "Thanks, that means a lot..". Not sure how to interpret that. Later got a text (this time on WhatsApp?) where she said her old boyfriend was hurt and wanted me to know that he know we had sex. Not sure if or what to reply. Still miss her and want get together again. Don't know what to do?

Updates:
Send a text to her about two week ago, got 8 very angry text back telling me to stop contacting her. Says she wants to spend the rest of her life with her ex and she is trying to make things right with her ex. Got a message from her ex boyfriend how she is visiting asking about the relationship status between me and me ex girlfriend. Sent HER a reply explaining why I sent the messages, got a positive reply "I know your only mean well". Want to let her know I can't be just her friend want more. How to tell her?

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What Girls Said 3

  • That's some serious masochism you've got going on there honey. Accepting crumbs of affection and attention in exchange for cheating, having to lie and holding on to a "relationship" that realistically it most likely never going to happen. And it shouldn't happen.
    Why would you want someone who doesn't want you? She is asking you to lie about you having sex, if asked, so her boyfriend won't be upset with her. Seriously? That's the kind of woman you want?
    People treat us how we allow them to. By having strong values for yourself, morals by which you treat others and demand for yourself you get better quality people.
    When you accept bullshit like this you're saying you're not worthy of anything more

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    • Got 8 very upset texts today about how I have been contacting her to much and that she is trying to establishing a serious relationship with her ex (who is a typical real a hole, both she and her friends have told me many time) and I was ruining her chances. Somehow he knows about the text I sent, which haven't been flirty. Then she sent a email, which I was not supposed to answer, asking me to tell her ex that we didn't have sex just oral and that we'r only friends. Have not replied. That's it, I'm done. Keeps implying that we'r just friends, which is something I'm not looking for. Everything you've said is true, however, during the time we where together she was amazing. Think she needs some time not being in a relationship. Just so f.. ing hard to let go.

  • I'd cut her out of my life if I were you. Do you really want her to only come to you when her other ex boyfriend isn't available? Take care of yourself and don't let her take advantage of you like this.

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  • Dodged a bullet sounds like. Leave that mess in the past where it belongs. For your sake. Think ahead into the future? I can tell you this from personal experience... going through a split when kids are involved, gets messy. It's a mess. An expensive one.

    Just no.

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