my ex likes to make it seem like I was crazy. He would do shitty things, and I'd call him out on it. A few days ago, we argued about something I did on my bday. He didn't get me a gift or plan anything by the way. He was upset because we went to a painting class and I didn't want him helping me. He brought this up a few nights ago and I told him I was upset he didn't do anything special for my birthday, but he didn't listen. I apologized and he said I'm full of shit. I got mad and we argued. We get home and I was tired of fighting, I apologized. He said he has nothing to say to me and I need to leave. I snapped and began to tell him how much of a jerk he was. "You always treat me like shit, why am I with an asshole like you?" Finally he grabbed me by my hair and pulled me out the door and threw my bag out. I pushed myself back in "you're a punk, what kind of man does that? I fucking hate you! I'm done!" This is basically what I said all night. He yelled and tried to get me out and he tells me he can't be with me because I always harass him. What? It's like he pokes at me and then plays the victim. I should've left, but I didn't because this man loved to yell at me and decide he was done with the convo when it's my turn to talk. I'm embarrassed that I acted poorly, but I was so angry. He made it seem like I'm the one that causes all this drama. Eventually he calls the police because I wasn't leaving, and it's safe to say I'm DONE. But I still feel angry. More towards myself, for acting like that and allowing him in my life.
I feel so freaking pissed off and I want to slash his tires or do something crazy, but I know it won't make me feel better. I just wish he knew he was an asshole and I didn't deserve it. I wish I didn't put up with it. I just regret so much about the relationship. Will it get better? Or will I turn into those bitter women that are constantly defensive and paranoid? Anyone else can relate?
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No need to get revenge. i know it's maddening but just walk away and try to calm down right now. In the end you will feel better and it will be easier to move on. Try to do other things to take your mind off him. He's abusive and you don't need that in your life.1