Having a hard time breaking up with my boyfriend of +3 years (bad relationship). Why can't I actually do the breaking up?

It's probly one of those things were everyone rolls their eyes and say "just break up already". I have thought and said that in the past, but now it is also happening to me. I didn't have problems breaking up with my ex before, but for some reason I can't let go of this bad relationship. We also live together (my name is on the lease).

All trust is gone from my side and I resent him most of the time. The time I spend together with him I realise I both love and hate him at the same time. The problem is that the parts which I hate are really bad. For example, he cheated on me (he confessed it to me). I gave him a chance to redeem himself which he did. A few weeks ago he made horrible joke, he said "I have to tell you something". The last time he needed to tell me something he confessed he cheated on me, so I naturally was on alert. He then said "I went on a date today" followed by showing me a picture of him with a dog he was with that day. I was so upset with him that I refused to talk with him the rest of the day.

He does things like that all the time and i really resent him from making jokes like that. I did try to break up with him multiple times, but when it comes down to it I can't finish it. Ofcourse there is still love for him, but it the guy who I love is gone. Only memories of the good time which haunt me.

I've tried to make it work with him, but that won't work if it comes from one side. So I really need to break up, but I don't know how.
Having a hard time breaking up with my boyfriend of +3 years (bad relationship). Why can't I actually do the breaking up?
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