It's probly one of those things were everyone rolls their eyes and say "just break up already". I have thought and said that in the past, but now it is also happening to me. I didn't have problems breaking up with my ex before, but for some reason I can't let go of this bad relationship. We also live together (my name is on the lease).
All trust is gone from my side and I resent him most of the time. The time I spend together with him I realise I both love and hate him at the same time. The problem is that the parts which I hate are really bad. For example, he cheated on me (he confessed it to me). I gave him a chance to redeem himself which he did. A few weeks ago he made horrible joke, he said "I have to tell you something". The last time he needed to tell me something he confessed he cheated on me, so I naturally was on alert. He then said "I went on a date today" followed by showing me a picture of him with a dog he was with that day. I was so upset with him that I refused to talk with him the rest of the day.
He does things like that all the time and i really resent him from making jokes like that. I did try to break up with him multiple times, but when it comes down to it I can't finish it. Ofcourse there is still love for him, but it the guy who I love is gone. Only memories of the good time which haunt me.
I've tried to make it work with him, but that won't work if it comes from one side. So I really need to break up, but I don't know how.
Most Helpful Guy
sounds like its time for a break, not a break up, BUT its a big BUT you your break will be serious break. Sometimes breaks are really healthy in relationship specially your case that you doubt he is loyalty. You tell him we are having a break and either you or him move out he should be the man and grow the balls to tell you that will be him moving. Dont contact him AT ALL like serious shit don't even think about it. its trail if you can let him go. on the other hand which you said you can't let go of the relationship that will grow it bigger and better, by the time passes he will realize that you seriously needed a break away from him and the more time goes he will think that you actually like it creating SCARCITY! you know what im talking about right? so here is the out comes 1- he could actually change and try to reach you out and be as romantic or nice as you guys first met here is where the relationship can be redeemed BUT you and will have to put some rules and both of y'all be ok with it no BS. 2- That he would really like being away, your kind of wining now because you wanted to break up but also now you know he is not worth shit!
Most Helpful Girl
Aww this really sucks and I understand being in this kind of situation. The problem is, when you are with a bad person for a long time, you start to even get attached to the BAD things they do because it sort of makes you share a common bond. It's like the same person who keeps hurting you is also the person you go to for comfort so it's a vicious trap.
I think the best way to deal with this is to get outside support. I don't know your situation, but these kinds of relationships can often be very isolating. The first thing to do is to be honest about the relationship with people on the outside. They may think he is a good guy, but they need to know the truth. If you can talk to family and friends about it, that's a good place to start. If you don't have that kind of support, then even online groups can help.
After a while, things will get worse and worse and you will get to the point where you just have to leave.
Sometimes you can get used to the bad treatment, though, so watch out for that and give yourself a reality check on what is and is not acceptable behavior
Just realize that you are not alone, it is NOT your fault, and lots of people get into these situations. I think you have a lot of potential to get out of the situation, because you are not in denial and are basically totally honest with yourself about what is going on.
It can be very hard to imagine life without the person, but just remind yourself that the good version of them only exists in your head. He may try to get you to stay by promising to be better and even threatening various thing if you try to leave so focus on getting more financially stable and making a good plan for leaving with some outside support to help you stick to your guns.
The thing is, you deserve a better life and you CAN be happy if you get out of this situation.1