I cheated, should I tell my boyfriend?

we have been together for almost a year now, and about 9 months ago he moved to California for 5. a month after he moved a guy who I had sex with before I even met my boyfriend was pretty much begging me to have sex with him and showing up at my house late at night because he was so f***ing desperate. I felt really bad for him because he had no friends and I did take his virginity and left him hanging after that, even though we had been friends for 4 years. I never wanted to cheat on him, but I just lost all control and I had sex with him. after that, I stopped talking to him and ignored all his texts. my boyfriend already can't trust me, and I know if I tell him he will never be able to again and he might break up with me but I can't live with this on my conscience anymore.

Updates:
and we have plans to move in together and get married, and I really don't want to mess that up.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Better to keep this quiet. What he doesn't know won't hurt him, and you should write this off to an earlier life.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • It's no surprise he didn't trust you in the first place. You had full on sex with somebody else because you felt sorry for him; that's even worse than saying you were gagging for it.

    Tell him. It's up to him what he does and not you.

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  • Your an idiot, just tell him and he will probably break up with you, good for him.

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  • tell him !

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  • tell him.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I always believe honesty is the best policy. He deserves to know and I think it's a little selfish that you would hide something like that from the person you supposedly love because you don't want to "mess up the marriage plans." It's not like you just kissed him, you had sex with someone else. That's not okay. Even if he gets mad at you, at least he'll deep down respect you for telling the truth. What if he found out it from someone else? He would be 10 times madder. You need to balls up and tell the truth. Saying that you "lost control"? I'm sorry but that's complete bull. You knew you were cheating, you knew you were having sex. It takes 2 people to have sex. I'm sorry this is a little tough love, but put yourself in his position for a second.

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  • "I never wanted to cheat on him, but I just lost all control and I had sex with him." -> what? lol

    You already messed up! Now, you should tell him!

    You lost control, your dignity, and probably will lose your boyfriend when he find out...

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  • Definitely tell him.

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  • Tell him!

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