Going through the "no contact" phase with an ex, but I'm struggling?

It's been about a week with no contact with my ex. We dated on and off for about 9 months. She dumped me about a month ago for this other douche. I'm trying to go a month or longer without talking her. I'm REALLY struggling though.

She says she misses "talking to me" and actually invited me to come see her about a week ago. I decline at the time to seem more like a challenge.

Last I knew still has a new bf. I saw this on Facebook. I de-friended her 2 weeks ago so I don't know if things have changed since. This other guy is in another state right now because its summer. I wonder if the reason she wants to chat is so she can get attention from me while this d bag is away.

I REALLY want to talk to her. I think about her every day, all day long. However I don't want to end up the in the friend zone. I feel like if I do talk to her that is exactly how she will treat me. She even asked to be friends after she dumped me and I said no.

I can't go out and drink right now and I'm preparing for a athletic competition which is leaving me moody cause of the stress. So I feel really awkward at bars/social gatherings when everybody else is drinking.

Besides training (I'm a fighter) I'm by myself most of the time. I work alone. All I can think about is her. I find myself saying her name. It's very pathetic I know...but help.

Updates:
I want to talk to her...but my biggest fear is she will bring up this other guy. During our first "off" period she got dumped from another guy and all she wanted to talk about was her f***ing heartbreak. I feel hurt/furious that she would feel
comfortable sharing that with me. She put me in the friend zone w/o my consent. I have dated and slept with other women over this time. However my options are pretty limited right now. I guess I got to tough this out until my fight. However this is
effecting me. It sucks. I want to forgot about it and move on...but I'm struggling.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Believe me, it takes longer than one week of no contact before she will miss you. At least a month, somewtimes longer

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    • Well its been a week so far and my GOAL is a month. I find myself reaching for my cell phone than throwing it on my bed. It's like a smoker who tries to quit, but I'm reaching for a pack

      The only reason I contact her last week was a simple "happy bday". She said she "missed talking to me (different than actually "missing me" ha?). She even invited to come to a party. I declined

      My birthday is in 10 days. I wonder if she'll remember. Probably not, but I won't get hung up over it.

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    • If she contacts me again within a month, what do you suggest I do? Blow her off and tell her I'm busy?

    • If at that time you still wantot o talk with her then no I would take her call, but only if she calls you first. Then act real happy and busy. Don't tell her how much youve missed her or anything like that. That's the way I am with my ex, when he calls I'm real indifferent to him. Let her wonder why you aren't pining over her. If she says she wants to get back together tell her you'll think aobut it.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • just hang in there. things will get better but you gotta stay away from her right now. get yourself together and then maybe in the future you two can be friends if you want to after you are completely over her

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    • Although we had a "sit down" when she dumped me last there are a lot of things I didn't tell her. Things that hurt me, made me very angry. I'm trying to bury this anger. For example she was flirting with this other guy on fb before she even dumped me. I never show jealously so I looked the other way at the time. I didn't appreciate that though. I want to completely ventilate all of my hurt/frustration then never talk to her again. Shit like this makes me lose faith in women.

What Guys Said 1

  • Don't worry bub I'm almost in your boat but if you really care about her tell her the way you exactlly feel about everything. If she can't accept it then move on.

    Can you please answer my question I could use your insight.

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