Breaking Up Soulmates?

Hi everyone! So, I have a ~possibly~ touchy question. My boyfriend and I of 8 months just broke up, namely with him breaking up with me on the grounds that I am not his soulmate. He's said he loves me, he's been very happy with me, but it would be wrong for him to continue our relationship to any further point (like marriage or moving in) when I am not his soulmate. He went on to state that he's felt the soulmate feeling before with an ex he met while studying abroad, but she moved home after a little over a month into the relationship. He stated that he realizes I have the soulmate feeling for him too. Which brings me to my 2 questions: philosophically speaking, when you have the feeling that is so deep seated it shakes every part of you that someone is the right person for you, how is it possible that they do not have that feeling? Does that mean one of your premises is "wrong"? And second, have any of you experienced breakup (either dumper or dumpee) on the grounds that you're not soulmates?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well first, how do you and him define a soulmate? Understanding how each other defines the word 'soulmate' can help in answering your questions. Like do you define it as someone who you feel a special connection with? Or do you define it as someone who both sides feel a special mutual connection? The difference is that one is one-sided and the other is more balanced or mutual. So maybe you'd wanna think about that?

    • For him, he just left it at "he knows it". So I can't elaborate for him, but for me, it's the same with a bit extra. I think you know it, because there's a mental, emotional, and spiritual connection that you feel unlike any other--but recognition and growing of the connection is the responsibility of the people. Like it's not just *left up to fate* because "hey! We're soulmates!" You gotta be willing to work on you and the relationship and recognize people are going to develop at a certain pace. And that's the most important part because it affects how open both parties are to recognizing when a legit, intuitive, spiritual link is existing.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm an expert dumper on the grounds of not being soulmates. Relationships are rarely 100% equal. Someone is always more in love than the other person, someone is always more jealous, and so on. That's natural. I can't say if he's lying to you or not but I've felt that soulmate feeling and it's hard to recover from that. Meaning that everyone else you encounter after that person is meh at most.

    • May I ask why you don't pursue the person you felt the soulmate feeling with anymore? If you've felt it, why not pursue them still today?

    • Major stress hit us both hard at the same time and stress/depression changes you as a person. While I would put my problems aside to help him he would disappear and reappear as convenient for him. You can't have a relationship with someone who is absent when things go south/you need them most.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • ouch. im so sorry. i get how upsetting that is.

    • Thank you, I appreciate it. I'm not wanting to overthink it because I want to sort through my own stuff unrelated to the relationship, but we have to work together so I don't know how to interact with him at this point.

    • Oh so you work together.
      Well hard ad it may be (or maybe its easier this way)
      in my opinion the best thing to do would be just to minimize talk and avoid conversation outside work related stuff. That would be the best way to get your mind used to be over the relationship.

  • am in relationship with my soulmate... She is Everything For me. I do everything for her. She Ditch me But She accept that n told me everything. I said it's k. just bkoz I can't stay without her. only my love is enough for both. it's call soulmate.


What Girls Said 1

  • He's just BS'ing you and you're kinda BS'ing urself. He just wasn't happy with you and had feelings for his ex and do I believe soul mates are real? Sure but I don't think you guys were ever each others soul mates bc it's a two way thing not one way.

    • Thank you for the honesty. Do you think it's a realized two-way thing at the same time? How do you define soulmates yourself?

    • Yes it is.. A soul mate in my opinion is someone you connect with on a mental, physical and emotional level and just no one can get you like they can.

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