I asked out a guy that I don't like, and now we're dating. I don't know what to do, as I hate hurting people's feelings. Help?

I was at a sleepover last night, and some drinking went on. I was really happy and having fun, and this guy that likes me texted me.

I texted him back and said "what would you say if I asked you out right now" and he said "yes." Then my friend told me "YOU SHOULD DATE HIM!" So I said I would say "yes" too. immediately, he asked me out. Now apparently we're dating, and he just texted me but I don't want to open it.

I feel terrible now because I don't like him at all, he's just a friend. I like someone else already! What do I say to this guy? He's my friend, and I don't want to hurt him or make him feel embarrassed. How can I get out of this "relationship" without making him feel that way, and embarrassing myself too?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Honesty, ASAP. You screwed up and he's gonna get hurt for it. The best you can do now is clear the situation as soon as possible, to avoid as much hurt as possible.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Just tell him that you've had some time to reconsider your own stance on things and you were acting on impulse, and got too carried away before thinking through the full implications. Inform him that you're not comfortable with the idea and that you are sorry to have to disappoint him and perhaps play with his emotions, even unwittingly like that.

    You must take the blame for your own actions. It is your fault and you cannot escape that. Act humble. Apologise. Promise you will learn from this mistake and pledge never to do it again.

    In the end, even if you don't like confrontation, this can be a learning experience. In life you will need to find yourself in - not necessarily this specifically - but any number of situations where you have to hurt other people for your own self preservation. In the end you have to come first. Don't aim to hurt people if it can be helped, but it if can't be help you can't lay down and accept it, either.

    • This is amazing advice! You're absolutely right, I'm going to start typing out my text. I'll reply to your opinion here in a few minutes with what I'm going to say, let me know if it's good!

    • Show All
    • Hey, so I don't know if we're really in a "relationship" yet, but if so, I feel as if I acted on impulse last night when I texted you. I feel bad for playing with your feelings, because it may seem like that's what I'm doing. I'm not trying to do that at all. Really, I wouldn't mind being something more than friends in the future. I know that it was my own fault, and I do apologize for that. You are still a great guy. So me saying this is not because I don't want to date you, it's simply because I don't feel ready for a relationship right now.

      How is that to send to him?

    • You've got the heart of it right and I like what you've written, but I would change two things really quick; Firstly, I'd make the apology the first thing you say right away, rather than at the end, since ultimately that has to be the most important thing and I'd want to try to diffuse the situation immediately.

      I would also just make sure you flat out say you don't want a relationship rather than "we should just be friends". It's more assertive and brings the whole thing to a conclusion rather than it seeming kind of up in the air. I think it's a bit more respectful, to be honest, even if it seems a bit meaner. Guys respect it a little bit more as well, I think.

      ... I'm kind of funny about sentence structure, however.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • Just tell him the truth, that you didn't mean to say yes and you already like someone else. And then tell him WHY you asked him and said yes... if it was a stupid mistake, admit it was a stupid mistake. Doing anything else is just going to prolong hurting him, getting it over with ASAP is the best solution if you don't want to hurt him.

    • And don't try to sugar coat it or give some bs reason, he'll probably figure it out unless he has the iq of a rock.

  • I think a bigger issue is the fact that you are 14 and drinking. As for your question, you are going to hurt him no matter what. He's into you and likely won't take it well. Prepare for the friendship to be affected as well. It might not be, but there is a good chance it will be.

  • tbh your 14 and starting a drinking problem that young will turn you to shit. You're a beautiful girl, stay that way. also, be honest with him.

  • Oh, you're 14, that explains it...

    Just break up with him and make your own decisions in the future.


    • read the details about my question

  • "I'm gay"


What Girls Said 2

  • That was kind of cruel on your end. Don't bail on the poor guy. Just go on one freaking date and if you still don't like the guy then TELL HIM. Just see a movie and you don't even have to talk to him. Say you only see him as a friend. Who knows, you might end up liking him after this.

    • I understand where you're coming from. And again, I feel so terrible right now. I already know that I'm not attracted to him, I like someone else (and have been talking to someone else) for a few moths already. I wouldn't want to get his hopes up by going out with him, when I know it's not going to go anywhere.

    • Well I know exactly what you mean but look at it this way, he will see it as at least seeing what a date with you is like and maybe after you do it and say you didn't feel it, he'll at least know what it was like and that it was worth a shot

  • "Sorry, my parents don't approve of me dating right now so this isn't going to work out."


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