I've had a bad past (watched my dad beat on my mom, call me a bitch and scream at us, a lot of violent behavior, my grandpa constantly saying bad things about me, a guy I dated for 3 years was a pretty mentally and physically abusive relationship ending in him commiting suicide at my house while I was there, etc). I've been dating a guy who was 5 years younger, he's 20 I'm 25. We got through a lot of my issues with the suicide part but I have a problem with just being angry. I've bowed up at him twice now. Never hit though. I get mad if he's with his friends, even though he promises me he would see me after, hangs out with girls at school, little stuff that's stupid to get mad at. I don't know how to stop it but he's ended our relationship. I'm at a point I went to a doctor, got medical advice on my temper and going to a counselor. He says he no longer wants to date at all because I bowed up. That he cut his feelings off in a day because of it. I hate myself for my actions and it kills me that I also work with him and we go to the same college. Can a guy ever get over that? Is it best to just ignore him and hope for the best?
Most Helpful Guy
Your ex probably bailed for more reasons than 1 argument. Maybe you being jealous a lot or trying to control his life was way more of an issue. And you have to understand that just because you grew up in a home where people had to yell and scream for attention does not mean that will work with others. Actually in the home I grew up in yelling/hitting was common but I never want it in my relationships. I would not even be surprised if that guy was a victim of violence when he was a kid and your actions reminded him of bad stuff he does not want to be near now. You need to have self control.
That guy might be willing to take you back if you really change and give him space. You have to stop being controlling/acting jealous too. Relationships need trust to work. He probably trusted you but you never trusted him. You'd have to fix how you feel.
If you can fix all that, really fix it. Then tell him. But don't be surprised if he's not interested.0
Most Helpful Girl
I think you would be better to let him go and focus on fixing what you know to be wrong first. He's perfectly entitled to not want to be with someone with anger issues as it's really, really difficult to keep loving someone so explosive. Nothing will change for him, because right now as you say you don't know how to stop it.
So keep going to your therapist and work on some techniques to keep your temper under control and how to have a healthy relationship. If he's still around when you're ready then great, if not then you're happy and healthy for someone else0