How do I deal with this breakup?

He is a Muslim and myself a Christian. We were in a relationship and we were physical also. Later when he was shifting back to his hometown he said he wouldn't be able to marry me since his parents would never accept me in their family since i am a Christian.

More than hating him, i started hating his religion. I do feel immature in this. But I don't really know to get rid of this feeling. Help?

Updates:
I hate the fact that i kind of judge Muslims them and i hate facing any Muslim. I want to get rid of this feeling.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I dont hate muslims, i got muslim friends but i strongly dislike the religion.
    But that guy used you for sex, he knew all along that there was no future but he led you on.
    This is the reason why parents dont want thwir kids to date someone from another culture or religion.
    Dot worry, you will get over it.
    Take this as a lesson, just dont hold too muvh hate in your heart, enjoy your life, have fun with your friends, etc.
    From now on, be careful with whom you share your heart. It can take a wound, but dont let it take too many..

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    • thank you :(

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    • Well, i wanted to pm you. Seems you need to follow me for me to pm 😑

    • Its fixed now. Pm me back

Most Helpful Girl

  • Learn from your mistake and dont date another one. They will never respect u the way they do a muslim woman and u will end up being hurt and crushed in the end. I've seen it happen so many times. I was with a muslim man for 5 years and even met his family. He lied to me repeatedly and told me that they knew we lived together. Well after talking to his sister i realized that had no idea and he had been lying saying "she's just one of my friends."

    His family always came first in the relationship, followed by his job, then his friends from his country, and then me at the bottom of the list. I was just someone to f*ck so he didn't feel lonely, but for years i was fooled. he realized his mistake and has tried getting me back but never again. it doesn't matter how you change or what you do, he and his family will never respect you as much as they would another muslim woman.

    I still have muslim friends but would never ever be in a relationship with another one. they also tend to be much more romantic and will tell u exactly what u want to hear to keep u. So when it ends it is devastating bc by the time u figure out whats really going on, u are deeply in love

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    • And to be fair he is being an extra ass bc muslim men are allowed to marry christian women it's just not acceptable for a muslim woman to date a chrisitan man bc of the teachings

    • This is exactly what happened to me too 🙄

What Guys Said 16

  • I don't blame you for hating Muslims.
    and I can sense eyebrows being raised, but hear me out
    I don't blame you for hating Muslims because in this case it was a Muslim guy and his religion tends to not be all up for marrying Christians.
    if the douche was of some other religion with the same believe then things would have been the same.
    its not the religion that you hate, its the circumstances that your ex used to protect himself for having to deal with you.
    he was a bad person
    and no one knows what's its like to be in your place other than you, but I have had similar instance in the past and I can imagaine what it must be for you.
    its not easy to get rid of those feelings, but not impossible either

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    • Thank you so much.

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    • agree but that's just like any other lie to prevent facing the truth

    • @xxxfuker thanks!! The reality is hitting me hard. That i was used. Hope to get over soon.

  • I think you should hate him and not his religion. When he met you, he knew that the religious conflict would be insurmountable. Instead of discussing that with you, he kept it quiet so that he could find his way into your panties. He got what he wanted and now he has broken up and that, also, is what he wanted. He impresses me as being a very arrogant guy. Why shouldn't you hate him?

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  • With out knowing anything about religion dont be judgmental, this waz an individual's act which has nothing to do with islam. He waz a low life creep who didn't knew how to respect others feelings. Dont blame islam for that, i myself a muslim will never do anything pathetic like this to a girl in d name of Islam

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    • Means a lot to talk to someone who belongs to his religion. He ended up saying i didn't think all this when i got into the relationship. Now, i know my parents wouldn't be happy and i don't want to do anything which will make them unhappy.
      It's kinda hard to take it in that he ditched me in the name of religion and that makes me furious.

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    • Well u will, u did ur part honestly. it all happened just coz it waz not good for you, u will see in near future that why all of this happens.
      Dont lose ur smile for a person who doesn't value you n ur feelings

    • i hope u do good in ur life. tc bye

  • dear actually what you are feeling now is what that everyone feels when there loved ones stabbed them...
    But hating his religion isn't a nice strategy. I think it will only degrade what your Great religion tells you.
    you can hate him and move in your life forward without thinking of past...
    although it is not easy but you have to..
    spent time with parents and friends and playing some quiz games will be helpful...
    don't listen sad songs at all.

    for further need you can contact me

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  • first don't convert to that religion for one the Quran says u are inferior to the men of Islam plus they hate Christians so my advice is get over him find a Christian guy don't change your beliefs for any one

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    • Trying to forget him.

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    • well I guess time is all u really have it shouldn't be hard to forget a loser I mean I already forgot him

    • hope i will

  • Im muslim and if you are a real christian he is allowed to marry you... you need to let it go because he lied to you he just didn't wanna be with you anymore

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  • dont hate his religion. it has nothing to do with it. try to understand his problem. and just look for another relationship

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  • Hey,
    in Quran it says that as a male you are allowed to marry a woman from a monotheist religion. Christianity is a monotheist religion so he is allowed to marry you. Could you tell me what the nationality of your ex is? I am sure it is bonded to the culture.

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    • Yeah I know someone who was christian and married a muslim. She had a blessing ceremony thing to become muslim beforehand. Maybe he did like my jewish ex, and sort of used it as an excuse so he didn't have to feel like a jerk, but really he wasn't into her for some other reason.

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    • i have to add that in Islam there is something called "willing of you parents". Every father and mother wants the best for their children. That's why they are allowed to decide some of their childrens choices. If your mother or father doesn't give his/her willing before their death, you will suffer a lot in the afterlife before entering Heaven.
      In many muslims opinion you are not good parents if you don't give your willing to your children becausw which mother or father wants his children to suffer right?
      I apologize for my choice of words. English is not my native language :). And i am not sure if it's called "willing of parents", just tried to translate it from turkish.

    • I understood. The concept is nice. But I'm not sure if i was dating a nice man.

  • Love Discovered is precious... Love Covers a multitude of sins, Guilt and ignorance are not preferred love each other anyway and accept each other and you will create this in your experience

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  • don't worry I don't say to hate him or his religion... i say that this has been a lesson to u and u now realised it... now call him and abuse him till your heart says enough!

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    • I did try that. Didn't really work

    • I can understand... it happens with everyone... try involving in something else... the better thing is training small kids makes u forget things really quick... that's what I did

  • True.. they are bunch of retarded assholes

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  • Religion s not important

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  • can you convert?
    I know people that converted.. but they are still pretty secular.

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  • You're just lucky you lived through it.

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  • cringe...

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What Girls Said 8

  • Break-ups are always hard, but especially in cases like this where you still care about each other but have to end things because of outside influence/circumstances. If this is recent then it's understandable for you to be angry, and it will just take time for you to move past those feelings. Try to keep yourself busy and don't think about it too much.

    Spend time doing things you enjoy and surround yourself with your friends and family who love you. Ultimately, there is no point in harboring resentment/anger towards him or his religion. It won't change anything so you just need to accept it and then focus on yourself to be able to heal and move on.

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  • I am sorry to tell you this, but your boyfriend probably made that excuse up. I used to be a muslim. Muslim men are allowed to marry women who are not muslim. Only muslim women are not allowed to. (Because it is believed that women are easy to influence so they could leave islam if influenced by their husbands, but it would not be the case for a man). It is a very common Excuse that men make up to dump a girl when they do not want her anymore. In conclusion, this guy was just using you.

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  • I know the feeling even though my ex was a different religion. The same thing happened to me. I know how you feel. All i can say is, dont let it tar your opinion of all muslims just as you wouldn't let it make you believe all men are bad, or all humans. Theyre not. And thats just a bitter way of looking at it. you're a better person than that and in time you will see its not true :)

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    • Thank you so much! Hope to be fine soon!

  • he's not worth it

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  • Well, this is why you shouldn't date religious people because certain religion requires their spouse to convert to their own religion before marriage ensues. Not all Muslims are like this though, since some might be super religious and some might not. Some might even leave their religion for you, but some might stay because of their faith. You should know beforehand that dating a person of another religion requires a lot of sacrifice and risk due to different beliefs and faiths.

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  • Break ups can be bad.. What he said is really careless but I'am a muslim and I can tell you that in our religion a Guy has the right to marry a girl who's Christian

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  • It's completely understandable that you hate his religion because of this. You feel like his religion caused him to hurt you, that's a 100x better reason than just being a bigot.

    Even if this was a religious thing for him, it was still his own choice to make. I dated muslim guys too, and they as well as their parents had no problem with me being christian. Some people are more strict about religious differences than others. The point I'm making is that not all people from a particular religion will hold the same beliefs.

    Your boyfriend just didn't see a future with you.

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    • Just getting hard to get over after being dumped

  • You should be glad it's over. Muslims are insanely strict. They hate everything. Everything is forbidden.

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    • I hate the fact that i kind of judge Muslims them and i hate facing any Muslim. I want to get rid of this feeling.

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    • U r most welcome.
      Just one advice coz u seems to be a v nice person, Dont judge a religion by what its follower does judge it by reading what it actually preaches.🙂

    • @muzamil197 thanks. I will

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