When you came back into my life last year, it was the biggest surprise ever, and I was thrilled to get another chance to be with you, tell you that I loved you, and actually express my love for you.
I know I wasn't anywhere near as supportive as I should have been with you going on you're mission, but it was hard for me because I just got used to having you back in my life every day, and didn't want to lose that again.
I also, didn't act the right way before you left, but it hurt for you to not tell me you loved me, how you were pushing me away, and that I was losing you. I regret not supporting you and doing the right things when it came time for you to leave, and I'm so sorry.
I just recently had the feeling I needed to reach out to you, as I already reached out to your mom within these past days.
I don't want to beg, but I really want you to reconsider my place in your life. Because I love you, I want make you happy, and be with you. I just was overcome with hurt and emotion when you left and started your mission. I didn't feel like I deserved how I was treated towards the end.
I have tried to move on, and date others, like you requested, but I don't know how to explain what I felt, but I just felt like I needed to stop, and once I did, I got the feeling to do this.
I hope you understand, because it hurt so much to have you leave my life again. I know we played the balancing act before you left, and I still don't want to lose you, and I don't want to stop fighting for you. Maybe this is just so you can focus on your mission, and I can grow where I need to.
I want to express how much I miss you, and love you. I hope you are doing ok and are enjoying your mission. I also hope you know that I tried my hardest to do right by you and make you happy. I love you and still hope that I can one day marry you. I do not wish to be a distraction to your mission.