How do I get over her?

My ex and I were together for almost 6 years. We lived together and all. Within the last year, she moved to an other province, about 2 hours away. I would travel there every weekend to see her. Within the last year, she broke up with me 3 times. All 3 times were the same excuse. She explained to me that she didn't feel right in her life and she needed to be alone. Then 3 months later she'd tell me that I was the one and that she would never leave me. I got burned 3 times with this same shit. Anyways, this time it's different, she truly does not love me anymore and it has been over a month she left. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her. I am having a difficult time getting over this. I understand I shouldn't think of someone who does not care for me. I understand I need to stay busy. I understand all that needs to be done. I have fully accepted that this is over, but yet I am constantly thinking about her. I would like to move and and be my own person. I would like some insight. I am a caring and down to earth person. How do I get over her?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • From experience, getting over long term relationships where you share your life with someone is very hard. What's worked for me in the past is using a creative outlet to burn through my feelings (positive and negative) about the ex. That way I have been able to reach a neutral place with no overly affectionate or overly disgusted feelings for the person whatsoever. Personally, I started taking boxing classes and started painting and selling some of my pieces. It made me feel really great about myself, and it helped better than anything I'd tried before.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Give it time. These things can take a while to settle down. In the meantime keep yourself busy. Travel a bit if you can, join a sports club or something similar, anything that occupies your mind and time.
    6 years is a long investment emotionally in someone. It's not going to go away easily.

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What Girls Said 2

  • maybe this video helps https://youtu.be/01wvLSaS9_I

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  • the same thing happened to me when i broke up with my ex who was being an asshole to me since I met him. I couldn't get over him. He never tried to win me back, so I approached him and we got back together, but he was even worse. So I finally decided to let go of people who don't deserve me. Now I wonder how could I be with a person like him., like was I drunk the entire relationship?

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What Guys Said 3

  • I have what might seem like a really silly suggestion: get a hobby, or buy a time- and thought-, consuming video game. Start woodworking, studying maths, take dance lessons, play the Witcher or (personal recommendation) Red Dead Redemption. It's great to get some space between you and your thoughts, from time to time. Just don't get stuck anywhere, life is in constant motion.

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  • Have you cut her out of your life completely yet?

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    • Yes. All photos, social media. Every single thing that reminds me of her is gone.

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    • As being on the female part of your situation I must agree with El shaddai. I broke up a relationship of 4 years because I didn't feel it anymore too, I am heartbroken over this and feel sincerely guilty but it just doesn't feel right to love someone with only a half heart. As the brain stimulates hormones like serotonine, dopamine and oxytocin during memories you have made together she literally became a part of your brain. It's literally like a drug addiction, so what you are experiencing are withdrawal symptoms. I can only advice you to grief more, write a lot, keep on going with what you are already doing and try to see/date other people.

    • I understand that you can't love someone half heartedly. I have accepted all this. And understand what needs to be done. I grieve on a daily basis, it is just hard. I want her out of my head.

  • cold as it sounds, replace her
    its the best way to move on

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    • Easier said than done lol. I don't have women throwing themselves at me. And I've been seeing other people. but it's not the same. I keep comparing and in the end not happy. But like everyone said, I have to wait. Time will tell. I just thought after everything I would trigger my brain to say that she's not worth me. But can't help thinking about it.

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