Forgiveness is human, to forget is divine. Is it to much to ask to have her forget what I did?

I have been seeing a girl for about 6 months. From the beginning she has said she wasn't ready for a relationship and that she would never fully date a guy like me anyway, and this was stated numerous times in the 6 months we were "together". I was confused and hurt by this, but went along anyway. I slept with an ex-girlfriend twice in the first two months were together and lied and covered it up for the rest of the relationship. Needless to say, she found out and now it's over. I know I did her wrong and I know she knows I'm sorry and that I wish I could take it back. She is willing to still be my best friend, she just needs time, and that's all I can really ask for. But she is set on the fact that she will never forget what I did and that there is no way we could ever be together again. what can I do to convince her otherwise? we never really gave our relationship a chance I think. neither of us were ready to be in a relationship and especially one were it seemed to be not a real relationship. she wouldn't commit to me, and it was obvious I wasn't committed to her when I cheated on her, but that was in the first months of something that we said pretty much wasn't a relationship anyway. I lied and I cheated and that was treating her with disrespect... I know that. she is set in her mind that once you cheat and lie there are no second chances. she said its obvious we weren't meant to be together, but we became best friends in a short period, and the connection we BOTH felt was like no other we had ever felt. we love each other very much, but I want her to know that I don't want here to shut the door completely on us. I am seeing a counselor and I am really wanting to change and be a better person. I need to change myself before I can change anything with her. she's the best thing that has ever happened to me. I made a mistake, but I believe that when you fully forgive a person, you have to forget what they did. how do I change her mind? I know she will need time and space and I am more than happy to give it to her. but I want her to know that she shouldn't close the door on us, because first off, we were sleeping together but she told me she would never date a guy like me, so how was that supposed to make me feel? I made her happy and she told me that, but I wanted a full committed relationship and she didn't. but I went along with it hoping that she would change her mind. in the end my screw ups were what broke us up, but we could be great together if we both decided to give it a real go. to be fully committed to each other. how do I make her see that? she is very stubborn and set in her ways and has been hurt in this way by a few guys. she says she will always be my best friend and that I need to work on myself right now and that is so true, and I really am. but I want to have a second chance. I want to not have a monkey on my back through the whole thing. I want her back. what do I do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • firstly you don't need to see a counciller for what you did. secondly, I understand y she is upset, if it was just a random hook up with a stranger that would be bad but not as bad as the fact that it was with an ex where their obviously used to be feelings. I wouldn't wanna be with a guy that still had enough contact with his ex to sleep with them anyway. Usually when a girl says something like that about not supposed to be together, its because she wants you to fight for the relationship, not sleep with your ex because she said something like that. You just showed that when your insecure you will bail, not fight. You need to convince her otherwise.


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What Girls Said 2

  • Why is she upset. YOu weren't even "together" like she said anyways...

  • First of all, you two weren't really together. You can't cheat if there's no one to cheat on.

    If you want her back give her space, give her time. It could take a year. She needs to forget, she needs to get to know you again. What you did was wrong, even though you weren't together, and if she wasn't looking for anything when you two were hooking up she's definitely not looking for anything now.

    Time, attention and sensitivity.


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