How I fill the void of an ex being gone when they were toxic?

Basically I know it was a bad relationship and don't miss him as a person but I miss the intimacy and the closeness with HIM. If he were a better person he would be perfect. I feel like lately, since the break up is so fresh, I confuse loneliness as missing him. I found this post in a forum that explains exactly how I feel and I wanted your advice on how to fill the void.

RE: "I'm surprised this topic doesn't come up more often. For me, one of the worst things about breaking up is knowing that I'll be deprived of intimacy, physical affection, cuddling etc. and yeah, sex, for who knows how many months or years, because I don't do casual sex at all, ever, and I'm pretty picky about relationships, and it could be a very long while before I'm in one again, if ever.

Then what drives me totally insane is hearing people tell you that it's great to be single again because you have all that *freedom* now. Freedom to f*** around? Sorry, not interested. I've been looking for the past 6 months, but I still don't get it what's so great about "being free again". I know it's good that my ex and I split, but I just hate being single, not having anyone to kiss me, hug me and give me back rubs, and knowing that this is probably going to be so for a long time.

Funny, I'm starting to feel over my breakup, but it's like now a new layer of crappy is revealing itself to me, aka the fact that even though I'm out of a relationship that sucked, I'm now in a new reality that sucks too, being single."


Most Helpful Guy

  • There is lots of discussion about EXes... here is my philosophy in dealing with them.

    An EX means.. FORMER partner. That means they no longer are a significant part of your life. You have detached the link between you. In my decades of dating experience, only the first breakup was harsh emotionally. Even then, I knew the right way to move on was to simply accept it was over and to continue with my life, with the knowledge a new relationship was around the corner. Since then, each breakup was easy. I could move on the same day, with no emotional aftereffects. It is mental discipline and knowledge that more relationships are to follow. Every person will have several relationships and several breakups before they find "the one". This is normal, so how you deal with it needs to simply be part of the routine. Simply push them out of your mind and your life and continue on.

    Who CARES about an EX? Who cares about what an EX thinks of them? I see people who whine about an ex spreading rumors or posting negative things on social media. Who cares? Their opinion should not matter at all. They are an EX... the past. No longer involved with you. This person is now one of the billions of strangers on the planet. An irrelevant person.

    Breakups happen for a reason...


Most Helpful Girl

  • Went through the same thing. Focus on other things. Get a new hobby. Get a pet. Travel. Start a collection. Anything that will distract yourself from him. He's poison. You'll thank yourself for distancing yourself from him later. I promise. Maybe not in a week, or a month, or maybe even a year\s. But someday you'll look back and you'll be proud. It's never easy to walk away from someone you love, but sometimes you have to.
    "When someone shows you their true colors, don't try to paint them a different picture" -I dont know, I saw this quote on pinterest


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What Guys Said 2

  • Being single is not for everyone, I feel myself the same way. I think that everything is better when you have a life-partner with you.

    If i was you, i would try to fill that void with some hobbies, invest time on you and have some fun! You will meet new people and who knows if maybe your new partner. Also don't focus so much on searching for the new one, just let it come

  • the one way I manage to fill in the void of my ex (who I was with for 5 years) was a little difficult at first but I had to get my self distracted by setting goals for my life like go workout and also go out with friends and family
    you should do the same and discover more about your self

    and my freedom it depends on what you want to to mean
    doesn't have to be to f around
    one thing is you won't have someone to say you can't go out or hang out with certain people

    and now that it has been 2+ years I have been wanting to be in a serious relationship because it does suck being single at times but time will tell when that will happen
    but for now just meet people


What Girls Said 1

  • Best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.


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