How can I navigate being just friends with a former lover?

This guy I was having sex with and I got in a fight (more I was an emotional wreck) because he didn't want to be in a relationship a I did. Since then, he has said he wants to remain friends. I saw him yesterday and told him all I wanted to regarding my feelings (I cared for him, and I see how things went wrong) and he hugged me afterwards saying he "wasn't a heartless monster, he'd at least give me a hug" which wasn't sexual but lasted longer than average.

So I also asked if he wanted to do something next week with me, and he said it probably wasn't a good idea, even though I'm going to be gone for almost all of July. I asked if we could do something when I came back in August, and he said sure, but I should probably bring my friends too. I was sort of offended and told him I can stand to not be intimate with him at all, as I value him as a person and his friendship, but he said groups were best.

I still care for him and want for him to be my friend, but I'm unsure on what sort of rules apply to navigating a friendship.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Follow his lead
    he is a really great guy for not being an opportunistic prick and really not wanting to play with your emotions
    so as he says and move on

    on a side note
    I don't know what happened, or if you'd even want to talk about it (if you do, I'm all ears, I'd be glad to raise a patient ear to hear your story), but you really missed out on a great guy that would have gone over and beyond for you if things hadn't changed


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What Guys Said 2

  • the rules areas simple as a friendship. but it'll end up hurting someone between the two of you. maturity is the only key.

  • You can't so give up and stop being pathetic


What Girls Said 1

  • As hard as it may seem you need to cut him off. Your only going to get more hurt when you see him with someone else or he doesn't want the same thing. My ex pulled that we need to be friends stunt and it hurt me more than the actual break up when he stopped wanted to see me and be friends, hope it all goes well for you


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