Broke up with my first girlfriend after 2 years together. We're both 26 but she's still very immature. She wants to get back together, what should I do?

We met a couple years back during a summer job, both 23, she's a couple of months older than I am. We were both extremely shy and she was the first to reach out to me. I eventually got interested in her after a couple of weeks and got serious into dating her. I put a lot of effort and the snail's pace we were both going at for the first 3 months worked great for both of us. I grew up, she didn't.

Two weeks ago she showed me a conversation on fb with another guy (much older than her, and she said she had zero interest in him) who kept raunchily praising her photos and she kept replying with "thanks". At one point he asked if he was bothering her and she said "no no". Her explanation of this was because she wasn't busy, and he wasn't actually bothering her... The funny thing is I sorta believe that's genuinely what she thought. She's very nice and shy, but completely immature and very naive, even if not stupid. I'm still sure she enjoyed his attention and praise, however.

After a couple of days of breaking up with her following this ordeal she messaged me apologizing. Said she wanted to truly commit. She realized her mistakes and wants to get back together. I said I needed time, and after a week and a half she messaged me again, and I agreed to meet with her tomorrow.

She was my first girlfriend, and I was her first boyfriend. We're both almost 26. I want to move on with my life, dig deeper roots into my career, get started on a place of residence, moving out from my parents and start a family. I have dreams to visit a lot of places around the world and learn to fly a heli, participate in bike races and more before having kids. I have no idea if she even knows what she wants for herself. Is there any way this relationship could still work? Could she grow up like I did?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Maybe just see her once in a while and keep in touch until she grows up and you're done doing what you want to do before starting a family , hopefully she doesn't try to get involved with someone else before you're done doing what you're doing if it's meant to be I guess it's meant to be

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  • possibly, if would sat after this ordeal she might have realised what she had. but honestly i would try it and see where it goes but if the same thing keeps happening in a short period of time then she won't change.

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    • Thanks for the help steve. I am not the kind who likes giving a dozen do-overs, but I suppose giving her another chance after her reaction is probably a good idea. Thanks for the advice mate.

  • Know she knows you can dump her. Have a try, if she still disappoints you call it a day.

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    • Great read, however my situation is not the typical "she's not the right one" and never will be. She helped me grow into who I am, I don't know if she has the potential to do the same. Simultaneously I can't just hop between girls thinking I'll find perfection. It's something that has to be both found but also made.

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