Moving on from a girl who doesn't care

Whether it's infatuation or liking, whatever this is, I'm having trouble moving on from a girl who just doesn't seem to care at all about me. I'm having trouble with this because I thought our relationship was as such that she'd at least care a little bit, but she doesn't. She doesn't bother to keep in touch, when I'm around she doesn't bother to talk to me, when I leave she doesn't bother to say bye. I made the efforts to do so in the past, but it's not reciprocated. She just doesn't care and the coldness of it hurts me the most. Yes, I have asked her out before and yes, eventually I was rejected, but seeing that we went on two dates, I thought she'd care just a little. But she doesn't. So what can I do to move on? Usually during the day, I eventually feel better, but every morning I wake up with her on my mind and then it eventually turns to her coldness and that's just unbearable. I just can't believe she doesn't care.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • a guy did the same to me. When we first met the energy around us was insane, it wasn't the looks either, he was just an average looking guy, nothing special, but just his attitude, the way he presented himself, the things we had in common, our conversations just made me melt. There was this intense connection between us. I felt like he felt the same about me, everything was going so well, until the summer came and classes ended and he never called me again. I tried to be tough at first get over it, but in the end it kept killing me. I wanted to see him so bad. When new school semesters came, we kept running into each other, he was so cold, but after a year he warmed up again, tried to make amends, and get back into my life. He would come up to me say hi, make intense eye contact, and would try to talk, but something always held him back, and I couldn't do anything because I felt like the balls were in his court. I was the one to message him and initiate contact a lot of the times, and he would come up to me in person. I don't even know what exactly happened, why he was so cold/held back from taking things further. May be he's not a committed type of guy and just wants to flirt around? my friends said he's a player, he's a jerk forget him move on...and such, but at the same time, why do I still feel like when he looks into my eyes there's something he's hiding from me, or something deep he feels about me. I even put my foot down one day and asked him to hang out and he claimed he was busy but would try. He never tried. I felt so rejected and even after that episode, he would continue to say hi to me, talk to me, and make heavy eye contact. All I can do now is walk away pretend I don't know him because he hurt me so bad and doesn't even realize it. I still think of him day and night as well, and miss him, I remember everything about him, and his eyes were just magical. But I'm no one important in his life and he probably hasn't thought twice about me. =[

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    • Same case with me in terms of classes. As soon as classes ended, just nothing from her. I tried to get her to hang out (initiating contact), but she'd say the same thing: "busy and she'll let me know". We know how that turns out. When I saw her for the first time in half a year, it was so weird because I thought about her every single day for those 6 months and she hadn't at all so it was like 2 separate worlds..I was still living in the past so my reality was different from hers.

    • So when I saw her, she saw me at first, but ignored me, just looked at my face and kept walking. That night, I texted her and she acted like nothing had ever happened, we texted as if we hadn't missed a beat, it was so fun. Next day she came up to me first and we talked a little, but it felt so strange, as though we drifted. Then she ignored me and didn't care the rest of the time, didn't care when I had to leave, never sought me out, just did her own thing with other people.

    • =[ love sucks

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What Girls Said 1

  • The reason you want her, Grasshopper, is because she doesn't want you! Chew some bamboo and reflect on that one!

    Next, create a list. On the Pro side, list everything you love about her. On the Con side, list everything you hate about her. If annoyance is outweighing desire, you are almost there.

    Next, list three available girls, besides her, that you would like to date. List each of their Pros and Cons separately too. Now, determine to make a date with the one that seems to have the most Pros and who would be the best choice for you.

    Finally,Grasshopper, join a karate club or some other worthwhile pursuit that involves you spending time just improving, developing, and loving YOU! You will soon begin to attract women who are worth your time now because you will have proven that YOU are worth your own time!

    Wax on, wax off...

    ;oD

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What Guys Said 3

  • Hey homie!

    Look we've ALL been there. I have too. However you need to take the following advice and DO NOT DEVIATE! Follow these steps and you'll be fine:

    -Accept the fact that YOU ARE THE MAN, regardless of how a female or two might treat you. She lost out! Not you!
    -Never contact her again. Delete her phone number. Block her on Facebook. Remove ALL momentos reminding you of her. Completely block her, else it will inhibit your ability to move on!
    -Take up a new hobby, sport or trade. Keep your mind busy and occupied with new things.
    -Work out and improve your physique. This will also boost your confidence
    -Continue to date new women. Doing so will help you realize that there are indeed more AND BETTER women out there. As you get older, your dating options will improve!
    -Give it time. You will not forget about her overnight. Just stay disciplined and you will be okay!

    You'll be fine. Check my profile and see if my books will help you move on.

    Peace
    Flyness

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    • I started working out for the past few months, but the thing is, due to my erratic schedule (I'm in med school and I have a lot of other hobbies like sports, books, movies, music), combined with the fact I'm skinny with high metabolism, I'm not committed enough to the diet, etc. to really have bulging muscles. My physique has improved, true, but not to the level where people can look at me and tell that I work out. The problem is that I sometimes feel like lose out on those guys who do look

    • Buff, even though I think I have more to offer

  • Hello,

    I would echo what Flyness said.. Febuary just gone I saw a girl I was with (been with her for 9 months) make out with another guy right in front of me.. I later found out she was seeing another guy in the side.. needless to say I was in a state for a while (I think it was about 1 - 2 months) BUT I moved on.. I got a new job out the area (not related to the breakup.. I just got lucky) the first night I went out from my new place I met a new girl.. I've been dating her for about 2 months now.. my cheating ex doesn't enter my mind and hasn't done since I moved away.. (unless I'm using her for reference at times like this)

    All I will say is time is a great healer.. get yourself into the gym.. focus on your health... take up an actie hobby.. you WILL GET OVER HER and you WILL MEET SOMEONE ELSE.. you will find it alittle harder to open up the the next girl but don't worry.. just remember the signs your ex gave that told you there was a problem and learn to stay in control of your emotions..

    Good luck.. and remember there's not a man out there who hasn't felt what your feeling now :)

    -Chris

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    • Just to add. dude youve only been on 2 dates and by the sounds of things you came on alittle too strong.. you NEED to learn to take things SLOW.. of course she doesn't feel bad.. she's only been on 2 dates with you and she isn't that into you.. leave her alone, find someone else..

    • Thanks for your advice, but I just have to say is that I don't think I came on too strong. This is all stuff I've been feeling AFTER it was over and I haven't done anything stupid like tell her this or anything. I kept good space and distance, I went for a little hugging, not a kiss yet, because I thought it was too early. Unfortunately, I didn't get another chance, even though I was sure she would say yes (she never said no outright but played these stupid run me around games).

    • Always remember when a women is interested she doesn't play games.. leave her be.. walk away.. her problem is she's to much of a coward to just say no.. let some other poor sap deal with her..

  • Story of my life! its like getting slapped in the face.. but not learning your lesson and going back for me knowing well and truly your only going to get slapped again. (metaphorically) Going through the same, HAD something special with this girl, she moved away for a better life, tried to stay in contact, would die for her, if she ever asked me to move for her I would drop everything and go for it. but that's just not the case, I have removed her from my life to get over it. off Facebook/msn & her mobile number the only contact I have with her now is on skype. She is in my dreams, I wake up at night thinking about her. I could be on top of the world and loving life. and every couple of weeks I will drop her a message (funny how I'm always the one sending the first message) and at the end of it even if its a happy fun chat. I'm always left at rock bottom.. I don't know why we keep doing it to ourselves. I spent 12 hours today working for free just to get my mind off it all. and now I'm drowning the sorrows with a bottle of bourbon. F*Our*Lifes.

    Best opinion I have to give even though it won't work and I won't even listen to myself is.. give up erase her from your life its not worth the pain. Do stuff to get your mind off it. It will make you stronger in the long run.

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