Never needed advice more than right now. My husband will leave me if I reject Islam but I can't accept it any longer?

I'm married. Both in the legal way and the Islamic way. I've been married for 3 years, but I've known him for 4.
When I first met him, I knew he was a muslim but he seemed less extreme and even now he's not like what the media shows you.
Anyway, his parents found out about our relationship and they urged us to marry due to the relationship being haram out of wedlock. Before, we were normal teenagers. We did drugs, we had sex, fun. You know. Now, it's been bloody three years since I've even tasted alcohol. I'm 21!
I converted on a whim. Everyone told me all this wonderful stuff about islam and it sounded great. I converted quickly so we could marry. But the more I actually read into the religion I see it's not for me. I don't believe in God. If I ever did, I lean more towards Christ.
Now, I don't know how to tell him. Certain ruled and things in Islam so strongly restricts my life. I can't stand by such a religion and clam to support women's rights. My husband himself doesn't even know his religion prooerly. He thinks it's all sunshine and daisys.
Anyway, other than this he's so perfect. Seriously. He's loyal, hard working, accepting and kind. He does everything for me and to make me happy. He's worked soooo hard and spent so much money building a home and paying rent and everything. If i tell him the truth, he will leave me and I'll feel guilty. I'm so alone now, and I'm scared that I won't ever find someone like him again.
What do I do?
Never needed advice more than right now. My husband will leave me if I reject Islam but I can't accept it any longer?
18
4
Add Opinion