Guys, is it possible that my ex wants to get back together?

My ex broke up with me almost two months ago and even though I am still having a tough time, I am trying to move on, but my ex can’t seem to let me go. We didn’t have much contact for the first couple of weeks, but then decided to try to be friends, his suggestion. We’ve had a few drunken slip-ups, but have been able to hang out several other times with no incident and talk on a regular basis. He’s admitted that even though he still thinks breaking up was the right decision, that he misses me, thinks about me all of the time, and the thought of me dating anyone else makes him sick to his stomach.

I’ve recently tried to minimize how often we hang out because I don’t want to get attached again, but realized over this past weekend that I already was. I decided that if we ever really want to be friends that we can no longer hang out, at least not for a while, in order to give us more time to heal and move on. I hadn’t told him my decision yet, but was planning on doing so this week.

We had our weekly sports league together last night and we ended up discussing our weekends and he said his camping trip was just ok. I didn’t really ask why or give it much thought, and while I was friendly to him the rest of the night I tried not to talk to him too much and left right after so he wouldn’t have an opportunity to ask me to hang out like he often does. 5 minutes after I leave I get this text:

“Hey. Not sure if this is something you want to hear but part of the reason my 4th was just okay is that I was thinking of you the whole time. It was tough.”

The other girl on our team who dates one of my ex’s good friends mentioned to me last night that she doesn’t understand why we aren’t back together. She can see how much he cares about me, how attentive he is to me, and that he always mentions how much more fun he would have doing the things he does if I was there.

I guess I don’t understand why he is having such a tough time adjusting to not being together when he was the one who made the decision to end the relationship? If I’m on his mind all of the time and not being together is making him miserable, why doesn’t he want to be together? If there is still a chance for us to get back together I want to know before it is too late (neither of us have started seeing anyone else).
People on this site have suggested before that he just wants to hook-up or is just interested in friendship, but if that's the case why does he still miss me and feel the need to share those feelings with me,
especially when he has already gotten both friendship and occasional hook-ups from me?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think that you two started talking too soon after the break up. And the whole missing you thing is completely normal. He was probably so used to being with you and around you all the time that he just misses being around you. That's why he's asking to hang out.

    Maybe you should cut off contact with him for a while. He'll start going crazy. And maybe with you two not talking, it'll make you two realize that being with each other is far better than being apart.

    Once people love each other, that love lingers around them after that person is gone. And those people will always find a way back to each other.

    Maybe you two were just meant to be for the time being!


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What Girls Said 4

  • he deff has something going on...hes missing you. do you want him back? if you do, don't write back when he texts you and kinda give him the cold shoulder when your out, don't be so available to him...he'll be back in a flash, trust me, I know this first hand lol. if you want to work on getting over him, stop being friends so you can heal and give yourself time till you'll be ok and those feelings won't come back.

  • perhaps he is just missing what you guys used to have. But obviously that changed and that's why you broke up. You also didn't seem to have had enough space from each other after your break up. Yes it is good that you tried to be friends so soon but maybe you shouldve stopped all contact for a month or so, that would have really tested both your feelings.

  • i also don't think he just wants a hook up or friendships, like you said he's already gotten both, he misses you..its obvious he wouldn't be texting you that if he didnt.

  • He loves you, but he does think it was the best choice to break up. He's having a hard time getting over the break up, and I do think it would be a good idea to just stop talking. Maybe in a few months down the road you can actually be friends.

    • Actually the reason he gave for breaking up with me was that after 10 months together he wasn't falling in love with me, which he expected to have done after dating that long. He said that everything else was great between us, that he had a lot of fun with me, was really attracted to me, but that felt something was missing. This is why I don't understand why the break-up is affecting him like this? Is it possible that he felt more than he thought for me?

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