Girls, Ex 'Obsession/guilt'?

So girl I was with moves in the same circles as me now. She's related to, and is now friends with a lot of my other friends gf's. Things were going great, then suddenly things changed. She just shut off and excluded herself and eventually said she couldn't be in a relationship just now. She doesn't cope well with stress and other things in her life were causing her anxiety. She ended up in a dark place, she'd had a tough 5 year, shit relationships, low self esteem, low valuation of herself, had bad luck with jobs -she's educated at degree level and has landed herself a fantastic career in teaching now- but just compared her 'failures' to her other successful friends. I honestly tried so hard to just gave her the place to feel happy and show someone cared about her by taking the burden off her. I couldn't stop thinking about her which wasn't helped by seeing her constantly. I ended up in a bad place cause I do still madly care about her but not clinging on. So I f***ed up, acted like a child, done something that hurt her, and now carry immense guilt and shame about it. I betrayed her trust. I tried to apologise to her and honestly gave a sincere apology, she knew about it but she said I had nothing to apologise for as if she wasn't aware -100% was-. So I left it at that. Fast forward a few months, I get myself back together, but I end up talking to my friends in the pub and she comes up in conversation because she was worried she might see me at a party- she doesn't want to after what I done-. I f***ed up and it's my shame but the guilt is crippling knowing I hurt her, she's better than someone making her feel like that. I'm not sure why I'm posting here other than to vent, it isn't seeking advice to get back together. I didn't want to or hang onto hopes before I messed up. I'm aware I'll take abuse for being a **** but save yourself the energy, I've already made myself feel a million times worse than anything an internet comment can.


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What Girls Said 1

  • I'm not sure I understand your question, if there is one. If you're trying to get over the guilt, you have to let time do it's job. There's no magic wand you can wave to make all the past shit go away. It's going to take time and patience. You messed up, be proud of yourself for owning it bc a lot of people don't know how to take blame. Also, allow yourself to heal. You can't dwell in your past mistakes, you don't live there anymore. Time to move forward, and make better choices.


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