Still have feelings and can't get my ex-girlfriend out of my mind, what to do?

My ex girlfriend broke up with me about 3 month ago after being together for about 8 months. After the breakup she told me she still loves me and wanted us to be friends but wanted to be able to hangout with other people. About a week after the breakup I saw her together with her old boyfriend how lives in another country. We went out for dinner a couple of times, at this point the old boyfriend had left, where she touched me a lot, kissed, and we ended up having sex. The last time we went out for dinner she was going to sleep at my place, we would have had sex again but she got her period. We started to talk about our issues as a result she went home, said she had to protect herself? About 3 weeks ago I got a email from my ex (after about a month of NC, we have never communicated though email before) with subj "Help". She asked me not to tell her old boyfriend that we had sex after he had gone back home if he contacted me and that her life was falling apart. I replied that I would/will never hurt her. She then replied "Thanks, that means a lot..". Later got a text (this time on WhatsApp?) where she said her old boyfriend was hurt and wanted me to know that he knows we had sex.

Send a couple of texts to her about 2 week ago, got 8 very angry text back telling me to stop contacting her. Says she wants to spend the rest of her life with her ex and she is trying to make things right with her ex. Even got a email which I wasn't suppose to answer, explained that we where never together and only had oralsex. Later got a message from her ex boyfriend how she is visiting asking about the relationship status between me and me ex girlfriend. Sent HER a reply explaining why I sent the messages, got a positive reply "I know your only mean well". Haven't been in contact for about 3 weeks and want her to know that I can't be just friends, don't know how to let her know or if it even matters. Want her back but I know I have to let her go, don't know how.


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What Girls Said 2

  • I might be mistaken here but it seems to me that her ex boyfriend was never really her ex, she used you and now that the "ex" is back she's trying to make it seem like you're the one continuously contacting her just in case the "ex" goes through her messages and is trying to make things work with him after using you. I could be wrong but that's what I gathered from how you wrote it out -

    • Both she and one of her oldest and best friends, how happens to be my brothers girlfriend, have both told me how bad the "ex" treated her, really bad. I know I made several mistakes during our relationship which might have pushed her towards him. Just so strange, during the time we spend together after the breakup we kissed each time we were together and had a good time. She were the one initiating texts and phone calls, almost feelt like she was thinking of giving us another chance. Even her boyfriend how is with my brother thought she was having second thoughts. Everything changed all of a sudden. Just have so many questions.

    • She seems so complicated. Ever since first commenting on your post, I've been thinking of your situation and still can't understand it. There are so many different possibilities. It does seem so sudden, like a hasty decision that she made. Do you think that maybe she's afraid of her "ex" and that's why she quickly went back to him?

    • When I asked her about how come she started being with her ex so soon after our breakup she said he was in Europe (he lives in US) on a trip and they were only hanging out. No I don't think she is afraid of him. I think one of the reasons why she went back to him is that he is able to offer her a life style that I can't. During our last texts my ex called her girlfriend, how is with my brother, the girlfriend send me a text explaining that my ex really don't want me to contact her any more and that she is never coming back. Just don't understand the huge change in attitude after the last time we meet in person. I won't contact her, but if she contacts me I'm probably going to explain that I still have feelings for her and I can't be just her friend if that's what she wants, and if it doesn't work out with her ex and I'm still single we should get in contact and see what happens.

  • Why do you want her back? She sounds insane.


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