Ex contact?

it has been two months since we ended things, she did it but I understood and have accepted it. She was a big part of my life and we have done and shared so much together that I can't bear the thought of not having her in my life at all. We talked a couple of times she returned a text with a call, then she texted me and we exchanged a few messages, she said she would call me, never did, I asked her why can't she just be honest with me and tell me she can't be in contact, instead of just ignoring me...it is quite frustrating I wish she would just be honest, why is she leaving me hanging? I get the message though, she doesn't want to talk, but why can't she be mature about it and just let me know so I know. we left on really mutual and friendly terms, she said she had no love left but still was glad for all we had shared. Is this a women thing, I'm just trying to be mature and open, as I thought she would be? Or am I trying to analyze nothing here lol and really anything she says is irrelevant.
Updates:
+1 y
so I am a masochist, went for a the beer/walk. We laughed a lot she stared at me intently joked around touched me. It seemed like me and this amazing girl just had this amazing first date, I'm not expecting anything and will wait to see if she makes any
+1 y
effort. I really want what I had back and maybe she does too, but half of me thinks she just very well be the devil.
Ex contact?
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