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I'm the perfect guy for this Q, because I've lived it. Directly out of high school I had my girlfriend of 5 years and we shared the same dream or so I thought. I used to tell her all the time in school that I wanted to be dad by 19 and I was. "K" gave birth to our daughter in Feb. of 82' and another thing we always talked about is with her as Mom, I said I'll be able to give her the option to work or not which I was able to do. My job was very demanding, often requiring conferences overseas, weekends spent in my office, my wife was unhappy. I was too. I asked her for the benefit of our daughter, did she want to occupy our spare bedroom and continue living as mom and dad for... I paid her a salary until "R", our daughter was 18 and off to college. It worked for us, not for everyone.
If after tying to save the marriage (i. e. counselling, etc), than divorce would be the best option. This is especially true for "toxic" couples, who are constantly fighting and/or abusing each other. That kind of environment is extremely detrimental to children's well being, and can mess them up for life., far more than divorce (my ex was from an extremely toxic home where his parents were abusive towards each other. He always said he would rather that they got a divorce growing up than staying together... It messed him up for life).
Alright women, stop being stupid by listening to your feelings, let me make it brief so you can understand why single parents is bad.Divorce in the MAJORITY of cases results in women getting child custody, so I will primarily be talking about women because it's the bigger issue.CDC did a study on single mothers and discovered they are the number one abusers of children.Studies show children raised in single mother homes are MUCH more likely to commit ANY types of crime.Single mother households tend to be poorer and live off welfare compared to single parent men, this is bad because poorer households breed higher crime rates.Children raised by single parents are more likely to be obese.TLDR: Studies prove single parents are bad for their child.Simple enough?
I think single parents are bad for children too, I agree with that. And think parents should do everything to make their relationship work and be happy together before giving up. But what if one of the people in the couple doesn`t want to make it work as much as the other? Both parents have to want to make it work for it to work. If parents don't get along and children can see and sense that, don't you think it is worse for them? As a child would you have preferred to have parents that fought all the time and didn't get along and didn't treat each other nicely, or have them live in separate houses and be happy? As a child i have seen my parents fight probably once or twice, and it literally made me cry I hated it. And my parents love each other so they don't fight often. But if they fought all the time i'd probably had preferred that they weren't together, it is not good for a kid to live in an unhappy household.
'But what if one of the people in the couple doesn't want to make it work as much as the other?'Then that person isn't thinking about the best interest of the child and should be shamed, I can only sympathise if there is a likely chance of physical abuse or one of the parents is being too uncooperative and is causing issues.As a child would you have preferred to have parents that fought all the time and didn't get along and didn't treat each other nicely, or have them live in separate houses and be happy?You need to think about what happens after the divorce, I'll give my own experiences, when my father and mother divorced I stayed with my mother, she would constantly be on the phone with my father and always arguing, she would then physically abuse all of us over the phone to seek attention from my father, I won't get into more detail then that but the whole reason she divorced was because she wanted to marry into money but when she failed she came running back to my father.
I think it's important to do everything you possibly can to make a marriage work, especially when kids are involved. That's what marriage means, after all. It's a major commitment. But if you're tried everything- therapy and whatever else- and you're still miserable, then a divorce is probably best for everyone.
I'd stay together for my children. I'd do anything to keep my children happy. Parents separations effect children psychologically. Kids do not always communicate with words. Some kids detach themselves from rest of the world. Some kids feels angry, and frustrated, Some feels lost. It's too much for them to take. It will break my heart to see my kids suffer like that. All kids want to see their parents together... So, I won't ever opt for the divorce
I put stay together but it I actually think it depends you just didn't give that option. It depends why its not working if it's dissatisfaction and not from both being largly over worked witch would always cause stress then both make a serious effort to have more sex and if one of you has no or little interest then maybe agree to an open relationship while your kids still depend on you.If it that doesn't work or its a different problem without a reasonable solution ie domestic verbal disputes or violence then split up and try to come to a fair and peaceful agreement to avoid the cost of legal battles.
TY for MHO!
It's always better for children to see their parents in a happy, loving relationship than a dysfunctional one. Staying together for the kids breeds resentment and unhealthy behaviour. Children end up unable to form healthy relationships because they have never seen them.
I'd do everything I possibly could to make it work, counselling and the like but if we couldn't make it work and be happy together as adults then I'd divorce. I'd rather my kids see happy co-parents than resentful and bitter parents living together
divorce should be a last-resort option if every other attempt to save the marriage has failed.howeverstaying in a 'relationship' where the two of you are unhappy or always fighting will harm your children, not help them. and it's easier to model healthy conflict resolution for a child than it is to repair a broken adult.
Id try hard to make it work and get the love back again, if you try hard but it doesn't work I don't think children would be happy around parents that can't get along and don't seem happy together, it might be unhealthy for them and affect the way they see love. But first i'd try to get back the lost love and passion
I have seen parents of my cousins that didn't get along and lived fighting in front of their kids, but they stayed together for them, I always thought that my cousins would have been better if their parents weren't together.
I personally think if you have truly tried and there still is no love there it's better for kids to be around two happily separated parents then two parents who are married fighting all the time and don't love each other.
>Women mostly said divorce
A good , honest, peaceful divorce can be better than a war zone marriage.
There is no good answer to that. I've lived through it.Best answer is pull out every stop to try to make your relationship better if there's a shred of it left.
The kids leave but your partner not, so if the relationship doesn't work, why stay together after trying to get better?
id stay together for my children. i made a commitment, a sacrifice i am not willing to break it.
divorce it is better for children
try to work it out with the other
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