My mom always wants to talk to me about my problems but I don't want to talk to her?

I'm going through a rough breakup and honestly she has been in and out of my life, my whole life. So I have no desire to confide things with her. I have friends and family who I am much closer with and would much rather talk to. But she lives with me so she will see me upset and just start prodding me trying to get me to talk. How do I even handle this? I don't want to talk about it with her, but she won't leave me alone.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just be honest with her. She's just worried about you because she loves you. Just say something like "Mom, I know you mean well and and I love you, I know you care but I need to deal with this on my own. I'll come to you if I want to talk. I'm ok"

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Most Helpful Girl

  • From my own personal experience I wasn't close to my mom, she was always so cold but she passed away in 2010 and I feel like we have edges that never were made better. She was in my life all the time but I feel like she hated me. She was always mad and always gone working mostly because of other issues but I do wish I had more time with her. A girl never stops needing her mom no matter what. I am older now and I wasn't close to my dad either and he put us through hell too but since he's getting older I'm taking this time to make amends since he's changed now from what he used to be on drugs and alcohol. But I know I don't have much time with him so I'm making the best I got because it's too late for me and my mom now

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What Guys Said 14

  • You say that she has been in and out of your life and yet it seems that she's trying to very much be in it right now. Maybe she's trying to make up for some of that lost time and to really be there for you. I'm not saying that you should suddenly welcome it but you might actually consider it. I mean, how much harm can it do?

    My mom was never interested in my problems. That's the flip side of the coin. I just did things my own way and fucked up when I fucked up.

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  • Tell her...
    "mom, I know you're trying to be helpful but this is not something I am willing to talk to you about. Yes, I am upset but I am okay. Until you show me consistency in our relationship and are able to establish trust with me, I'm not comfortable speaking with you about certain things. I need you to respect these boundaries. Things will be much more pleasant if you can respect them."

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  • she is expecting the two of you to bond over this

    if thats not what you want then tell her a couple of things about how you feel and they don't need to he completely true and that will reduce the prodding

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  • She lives with you or you live with her?

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    • She lives with me, she is a recovering alcoholic.

    • "Mom, if you love me, you will leave me alone on this topic."

  • Be straight forward about it. Come on, thats a no brainer. You gotta hurt some feelings to get what you want.

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  • Ask for space, or just give her so many detail about so much random boring crap she will not want to listen anymore. My niece could work a four hour shift at her job, and then tell you all about it in 12 hours... I stopped asking her things.

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  • So don't. And explain you never will.

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  • Tell her thr truth

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  • My mom wanted to talk to me, and I pushed her away. She passed away 10 years ago, and I would of valued any sort of opinion.

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  • Tell her "mom I'll come to you when I'm ready to talk, you're making me want to talk to you even less."

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  • I don't know. Never felt comfortable talking about relationships with my parents.

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  • kind off go for it or not..
    be polite and change the subject? :)

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  • tell her part of the problem is that she Wong give you enough space

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  • I had luck: she did not want to talk to me about my problems.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Let her know you're not comfortable with it.

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  • My dad wants to talk to me about my problems too, but I know he won't understand. I just always tell him I'm tired. It's gotten to the point where hearing that response let's him know I'm not going to talk about it, so he just walks away.

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  • Moms may not admit it, but they generally want to know everything about you because they will always believe they know what's best. I'm sure if you told her juicy details about your life, she'd eat it up and all she'd want to do was give you her heartfelt advice afterwards. Go easy on her, she's just looking out for you, but make sure she knows you have boundaries. It can be as simple as telling her just that; "I don't feel comfortable sharing that part of my life with you (just yet) but I know you'll be there when I need you". If she's been in and out of your life, you may never feel the need to actually follow through with telling her anything. Hoqever, she'll most likely feel a sense of relief when you tell her that you think she'll be there for you, and back off.
    Good luck!

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  • She is seeing you hurting and wants to help you. Please don't cut her down or be hurtful about it. Why not try and open up to her? You could try and mend the relationship and maybe this could be a beautiful one. U could be close if u both tried maybe? If you are dead set on not sharing anything with her, let her down gently by saying something like, "mom, I really don't think I am ready to talk. And if I do and there is anything I wanna talk to you about. I promise I will come to you". That way your not saying for sure u will tell her your problems but simple suggesting if you, want to talk, then you, will come to her! Just be kind but also very clear. Best of luck to you :)

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  • Tell her the truth.

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