I'm not part of his priorities?

I've been with my boyfriend for close to 5 years now (never broken up) everything has been so nice until about 8-9 months ago. He seems different, he does show interest in me anymore, I call him to say hi or whatever and he tells me he's busy he'll call me back, and I just wait but he never calls back... We plan trips to the movies and that same day he calls me to tell me he's tired or something that we can't go. We are both 24 so we are not little kids. We haven't had sex in over 2 months and that worries me, I invite him to go over to my place but he rather stays with his family. Due to work we can only see each other about 2 times a week but he doesn't seem to wanna be with me during that time. We went to a trip with his family and he pretty much ignored me during the whole weekend. I tried ending the relationship not too long ago cause I didn't feel loved or wanted anymore and he told me that he loved me a lot but that I wasn't in his top priorities cause we weren't married but then again he never talks about marriage... I felt sad but he said that he was gonna try to spend more time with me that I was his motive to live blah,blah, so we didn't break up. He's a good guy but I don't think he's into me anymore. He knows how I feel we have talked and I love him a lot but I don't know what to do anymore. I'm frustrated cause I don't want to lose him but Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my time in this relationship.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Always go by what a guy does, not by what he says. If his words are contradicting his actions, always, always go by how he acts.

    Men aren't always as complicated as woman are. There are things that are complicated about them, despite what they think. ;) But when a guy stops coming by to see you, acts irritating by your presence, and stops having sex, it's a pretty big sign something in him has mentally checked out. He isn't even trying to go through the motions.

    Obviously I can't guess what his issue is but I do think that if you choose not to end it, you might get a huge surprise in a few months when he does. Cause experience is telling me is he staling on this break-up for some reason, even though he knows it coming. I don't believe a man who wants to stay in a relationship wouldn't get his act together after his girlfriend threatened to live him.

    Also, it's one thing to not make the time for the person and say something else is a top priority now. But when he is with you, why can't he be kind and caring then? On the trip with the family, it was a scheduled time he could have been loving to you but he choose not to be. I understand that sometimes guys get busy with work and we feel neglected. But in their off hours and the times they do spend with us, that shows us that it really is just being distracted by work cause then he makes attempts to be completely focused on you when it's you and him time. If he is not taking that oppurtunity to make it up to you, that's not a good thing.

    I hope you can figure out what you want to do that might give you as little pain as possible. I'm not one of the people who is quick to say "Dump him!" on every question cause I know in life people act weird or stupid or mean sometimes. If we dumped a person every time they did that, none of us would ever be in relationships! But this is one of the times I would say that the break up seems very inevitable. So the options for you at this point might be to wait and see or go ahead and go with your gut and end it.


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What Guys Said 2

  • you are wasting time. dump his ass you'd be on my top priorities you'd be my top prioritiy

  • Break up with him. Your relationship has been dead for quite a while.


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