Broken heart. I need him back Advice?

I know most of you are going to say do not get back with your ex and move on. I basically gave away my ex boyfriend cause I was fucking stupid and dumb and I thought that he was just another fuckboy just like the others but honestly he was the absolute best thing in my life I feel something with him that no other guy has made me feel in my heart and I ruined it. I swear I feel like a fucking idiot and just hitting myself in the head with a hammer cause I had true love in the palm of my hands and I messed it up fuck!. He loved me for who I was and for the first time I actually felt that I could trust someone and that I did not have to pretend to be someone that I was not just to get a guy to like me. He tried so hard to make our relationship work but I just kept shutting him down because I got insecure and felt like a guy that attractive would never like some ugly girl like me and I just pushed him away and now that he is gone I realize how much I really truly loved him and without him I am not the same. I tried to talk to him a couple of months ago and come clean about everything and tell him why I kept blowing him off and he just said "alright" cause he had a girlfriend and he said that he really likes her and that things are going well for him but he wished that I told him sooner cause he really liked me. He is the type of guy like me that is sort of insecure so when you finally fall in love you never want to let it go because you feel that it is too good to be true so I know that he is going to be with his girlfriend for a while and I am fine with that (not really but I can't do anything about it) I am not going to bother their relationship I am willing to wait for him as long as I have to I just see his face everywhere and it is just like I can't get him out my head my heart literally hurts everyday and I don't think it will go away until we are back together again. I don't know what to do. Advice? I know he misses me too.
Broken heart. I need him back Advice?
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