How do you get over a long-term relationship?

My one year and nine month relationship just ended in a mutual break-up. It was my first relationship as well. I loved him.. so much, but the past four-five months were, from my opinion, obviously forced by the both of us. And so, I took it upon myself to end it as I didn't want our relationship to be forced some more. I was as elegant and respectful as I could be, and I told him exactly what I thought. He completely respected my decision and agreed. Shortly, I said that the relationship itself wasn't as positive as it used to be and that I felt single in something that is supposed to involve two people. And again, he agreed. However, I still care for him. Any advice?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The thing is, you ended a relationship because it wasn't as positive as it was in the beginning. I'm gonna tell you the hard truth but at least it's advice. If you want a relationship to work you have to work on yourself and work towards making the relationship stronger. If you break up that means you gave up trying. If you give up, you won't succeed. You need to work on your relationship the same way you would work on bettering yourself. Step by step, day by day, activity by activity. If by then it doesn't work out then you probably weren't meant for each other. If you however give up and cheat on him, you have already lost all integrity and faith. While I'm not saying you should get back together since he was on the same page meaning maybe he wasn't ready to work on the relationship. My advice is, work on what's worth having and don't give up when times are tough. Those times shape you as a person and a girlfriend :)

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    • We've went through a lot of hard times and bad fights and we stayed strong.. but he lost interest and I could see that. I was trying my best, pulling as much as I can, encouraging him with everything as much as I could. After trying and trying and accepting certain things, I realized that there was no point. But thank you very much, your advice was very helpful. 😊

    • Good. Glad to help. Don't lose faith. Time will heal a broken heart. You have a special connection that won't disappear but make you a stronger person. Give yourself time and focus on bettering yourself, for yourself. If you believe in yourself and your effort. No one can put you down. I'm glad your a good girl. There are many opportunities for you yet. Seek them :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • Go out with your friends. Dont stay in contact with him. Thats how you eventually move on from a relationship. It will take time of course but just focus on yourself more and other things in your life. You're 15. You are still so young. You have a whole life ahead of you :)

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What Guys Said 3

  • mutual break up huh... meaning that you broke up with him to "teach him a lesson" in the hopes he will come back, but now he hasn't and now... problem lol.
    well... you fucked up. deal with it.

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    • geez because no woman ever can be straightforward about her intentions...

      she's just asking advice on how to better forget him.

    • Actually, I never had that intention. I never hoped for him to come back as I do not want to go back to that relationship. I also didn't want to hurt him by "teaching him a lesson", as breaking-up, I believe, is hard enough. He was obviously not interested anymore. We didn't fight and we both agreed that its better to go our separate ways. Now, since I still care, I thought some people went through the same or similar thing, and maybe there are certain things I could do.

    • @SteppingOnRoses umm when i see that kind of woman that is straightforward we can come back to this. but till then... no.. nothing yet. and yes it seems she wants to forget him, but still wants to keep him.
      @TheOaknshield darling, you got to pick, you are either in or out. Let me tell you about something, there is NO SUCH THING as a mutual break up. One person usually brings it up, and the other agrees... its not mutual. the instigator was just the person that said it first. For all YOU know, he probably didn't want to leave. but didn't argue... OR you didn't want to leave but didn't argue.
      its one of the two. i don't see that being mutual.

  • what do you want me to say?

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  • Move on but until you do that, you can talk to him for fun.

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What Girls Said 1

  • why do you say that it felt not like a relationship and more like two single ppl?

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    • Because he didn't seem to be interested anymore and I was always trying to start up a conversation or just make him laugh or encourage him and it was cold and distant. I felt like I was pulling onto a rope without anyone to pull back on the other side.

    • I see. I am sorry

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