Boyfriend broke up due to my race? He wants me to wait for him until he gets help to change his mind. Should I?

Long-term relationship (almost 4 years). I really love him and he says he loves me. But he doesn't want to marry me because I am not white and he is. He wants to get therapy so that he can change his mind and stay with me. Should I wait for him? I am so hurt. I go back and forth everyday and have panic attacks because I don't know what to think.


0|0
1520

Most Helpful Guy

  • Wow what a racist prick... you are good enough to date but not marry because of your race. He will always at least to an extent hold it against you. He is a dick and not worth a damn. Move on and find a real man who can appreciate you.

    4|1
    0|1

Most Helpful Girl

  • WHAT DA ACTUAL FUCK? What am I reading?
    Why did he start dating in the first place if he's not attracted to your race? I'm just baffled, I can't even begin to think how your relationship went through for all of these years.. and THERAPY? seriously?

    1|2
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 19

  • seriously? that doesn't make any sense. 4 years into it? he's either using it as an excuse to date someone else, or on a positive spin he can stay committed for a looong time despite his own objections lol

    2|0
    0|0
  • Well, I can tell you this much. If he broke up with you because of your race, then he *definitely* NEEDS therapy. Whether you should waste your time waiting for a loser is another question entirely. You don't have anything better to do?

    3|0
    0|0
  • . "But he doesn't want to marry me because I am not white and he is."
    A bigot thus.
    Be happy you escaped marriage.

    2|0
    0|0
  • if you are a troll
    meh
    if you are serious,
    give the guy a chance, if he is willing to seek help to change his perspective just so that he could be with you, then its a good guy that you have

    I know that most people will tell you that he is racist and all the other talking points, but the main thing is he didn't stop there, he said he wanted to get help to get over this and guys dont usually address mental issues if he is then look at the bright side and calm down
    its not healthy for you being in constant panic attacks
    and if you want someone to talk to, I'm all ears 👂

    0|0
    2|0
  • Sorry , but I hope you didn't fall for that line !
    Move on to someone you deserve and don't hang around racist pieces of shit anymore.

    3|0
    0|0
  • Anyone so weak minded as him doesn't deserve you to wait. If he really loved you it wouldn't matter a damn if you came from Mars.

    1|0
    0|0
  • he stayed with you for 4 years to finally tell you he cannot move on because of your race?

    5|0
    0|0
  • how did it go for 4 years before this became a problem? he is either an idiot or an ass hole

    2|0
    0|0
  • If he doesn't like your race which sounds abit racist, then why did he date you?

    2|0
    0|0
  • Wow, so much hatred in the comments..
    He seems not to be a bad guy, as he said it to you.
    Lots of people were raised in a white culture, and despite the love, it's a fact that they got hard times imagining themselves with a black, chinese, or whatever else.

    He's not racist, as he was with you for 4 years, and wants to improve.
    But.. What will you do, if he can't move on and make his mind to marry you?
    Will he be able to do the same for the kids? to accept that they'll probably have your hairs, or something like that?
    He's not a bad boy.. But maybe you can't hope to do your life with him, because it'll be hard for him to change all theses things in time..

    Talk with him about that, ask him if the kids will be a problem, and all.
    If it seems so.. move on..

    0|0
    2|0
  • No. 😄

    1|0
    0|0
  • This is the reality. There's deep seated resentment between races despite all the acting and wearing the mask. Interracial doesn't work. A white guy will always be the honky and the black guy will always be the n** when the break down happens. Most pricks date interacially just for kicks or to prove how tolerant they are. That ain't love and the partner doesn't deserve it as you've seen

    1|1
    2|0
  • i would suggest even if he does changes his mind his nature would not change. what if there is same issue again in future.. its better to move on

    1|0
    0|0
  • FUCK NO HE A RACIST

    2|0
    0|0
  • Don't wait for him

    After 4 years, he doesn't want to marry because you're black? I can assure you that he's not trying to marry you.

    He wants to play around with other women and to have you when he's ready to stop

    2|0
    0|0
  • if he really cares skin tone should not mean anything

    2|0
    0|0
  • He's not worth the wait. He's mentally ill and unstable so proceed with caution.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No, forget about him

    1|0
    0|0
  • This sounds so fake.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 14

  • What would make sense to you? Forget him, racist asshole! xD why waste time just to break up with you because of your race, doesn't make sense!!!

    1|1
    0|0
  • You're not sure if you should wait for a man who doesn't like you, but is willing to go to therapy to see if he does? After waiting for four years to see if he could just like you for you?

    1|0
    0|0
  • Don't wait for him he's not worth it

    1|1
    0|0
  • Wow, if you decide to take him back after his therapy sessions then you should probably go to therapy as well. Why would you even consider this possibility? Obviously, he's questioning whether he likes you for you as well as your familial history.

    I'm Latina and I've dated a lot of Caucasian men and not one of them have ever said that to me. If they did, I'd be right out the door.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Nah move on with your life. He sounds like a controlling asshole.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Um wow. Well you can't force love, that's something therapy can't fix. I would move on.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I would let that one go.. He should never make you feel bad about something you can't change!

    1|0
    0|0
  • What a racist loser find someone who likes you for you. He is just using that as an excuse to break up with you

    1|0
    0|1
  • Really I would be so mad

    1|0
    0|0
  • its simple if he loves you he would accept you for who u are and not need tharapy

    1|0
    0|0
  • 4 years? There's something you're leaving out of this story if it's true

    0|0
    0|0
  • Boring White guys, fickle and weird. Tell him to fuck off.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Why was he even with you in the first place? 4 years is a long time to be racist against someone.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Let the racist go. I'm sure you'll find a decent boyfriend who won't care about your skin colour.

    1|1
    0|0
Loading... ;