Confused about my ex? Hot & cold.

My and my Ex were dating for 14months, we did so much within the year, went away with her family for 3 weeks, went away for each others birthdays, not the usual sit at home routine kinda relationship and everything was awesome. everyone commented how involved in each other we always looked. Last week after a month of small arguments and stresses from exams etc she said she couldn't take us anymore and we broke up. at first of course I was very upset but straight away I stopped contact with her - few days later I was out with some friends and she text me "I really miss you". So the next day I replied "I miss you, I think we should meet up". Which looking back I jumped at her first move. which I think was a mistake. So from that she said it'd be awkward and we left it. She also said that "there has been so many times she just wanted to call me up and make everything better" I said to her "honestly I feel that we could work this out" but she needed some space to think about uni in 2months..

So 3 days passed and I didn't contact her and she text me out the blue and said " I don't feel I can't take it anymore, I need the best chance of liking uni and I feel I need to try and get over you now instead of on my own at uni, I'm so sorry". So I didn't reply that evening and left it 1day and called her last night. we chit chatted about her week and stuff laughed nd I thought in my head "this is nice" So I just casually said. "look. Saturday. just me and you and the dog. walk round your lake. I feel for the respect of our relationship we had I need to clear my chest I'm not going to pressure you or beg." She said "No I would be too emotional, just please put it in an email or something".

I'm so confused I'm not sure whether I should do what she wants and me to write my feelings in an email or just leave it and her to ponder what if - maybe I should have met to hear what he had to say?.. I have always let her know that I was going to support her through university and I even helped her with her A level exams. but she is such a home-sick kind of person. she calls me @ 4am sometimes if she's had a bad dream and I'm there for her. Her university is going to be 2hours drive from us. we had said that we were to visit each other few times a month etc. When I spoke to her on the phone she sounded very reserved not her normal self and I could tell soon as I asked her about her week she just turned back to the normal giggling self which is what I love... I love her with all my heart and really don't know what to do. she goes to st.tropez in 3weeks for a holiday and I really want her back but not sure how much time to give her and whether to write what I want to say to her on an email like she asked or not..

All I was going to say is that I'm here to support her through uni and not added pressure and remind her of all our good times during the past 14months.

help. :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well,first of all you sound like such a sweet guy. I've been with my boyfriend for about two years so not that much longer than the two of you were together. It doesn't sound like a very long time, but I know that when your with someone for so long it would be very hard to imagine life without them. Me and my boyfriend have lots of arguments all the time, and sometimes we both feel like we can't take the stress anymore. Sometimes I wonder if we would both be better off if we broke up, but when I try to imagine my life without him it seems impossible. He's my best friend. I'm so attatched to him! I honestly wouldn't know what to do if we broke up and I don't think I could get over it or be with anyone else. I'm sure this must be pretty hard for you, and pretty hard for her also. But, I'm sure she's doing what she feels is best for the both of you.

    Write her the e-mail! Say everything you need to say, and don't hold anything back. Remind her of all the good times. Let her know that you'll always be there for her. If you guys are really meant to be, then you will be together again : ) Sounds like she's going through a lot of stress right now, so maybe when things are less stressful for her she'll rethink her decision.

    • "Let her know that you'll always be there for her", yeah, like a doggie. Goog doggie !

      I've been in the same situation and been there for her because I thought she was still the sweet girl I met and she needs my help

      After some months I found out she was in another relationship for some months now but she didn't told me and she still asked for my help. And when I was asking how's it going, she woul;d tell me she is learning all day etc. Instead she was going to parties etc

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Send her the email. It will be a good closure for you.

    But after you send it, you have to start moving on.

    Its not easy to just "let go".. and I'm sure she feels the same way.

    But for now, this is the best thing to do. And since you really care about her, you will let her go and do what she has to do.

    Maybe somewhere down the road your paths will cross again.

    When the time is right...


What Guys Said 1

  • why do you want to be with a woman who disrespects you like this. She showed exactly how much she values you and the relationship by ending it. If she wanted to be with you but wasnt getting what she needed she would have tried to work it out. She's just trying to be nice and let you down easy. If you want her back this is the perfect time to take about a month and stop contacting her, and just respond with short answers (nicely). They will use you to comfort themselves while they heal and you will only be full of hope (false hope.)

    • I agree, don't trust hope, fore hope is a liar and a dangerous thing, it can lead a man insane

      Believe in yourself

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