I just broke up with my girlfriend and I'm really scared that she's going to start hooking up right away...

I just broke up with my girlfriend. Actually, she brought it up, and the decision was mutual.

I'm 16 and we were together for a year and a half.

She's gorgeous and if she wanted to, she could find another guy in a second... This really hurts and scares me.

Thinking about her hooking up with other guys makes me feel sick to my stomach and makes me want to break down into tears. It would feel the same as if she were to cheat on me, except I can't get mad at her for it.

Although I know it was for the best, I just can't get this thought out of my head. The though of her getting sexually pleasured by some other guy makes me sad beyond belief.

Is there anything you guys/girls can say to calm me down? I still love her more than anything and I still want her to myself.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I felt the same way after breaking up with a boyfriend. It takes time to get over someone. Whatever you do, don't contact your ex girlfriend. You both are grieving and if you contact her, that is going to get confusing. The best thing to do is find things you like to do and hang out with your friends. They are very important during this time. In a couple of weeks, go out and start looking again and have fun!

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    • Thank you, I agree.

      I mean, I still want to talk to her. Just not right now, and not for a little while. It would be to hard and confusing, like you said, for both of us.

      Anyway, today wasn't so bad and I had some fun. I don't think it's fully hit me yet. I'm worried tomorrow I'll wake up and be like ".........oh my god." But I guess we'll just see.

      Thank you :)

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 5

  • How do you want her for yourself when you just said you BROKE UP and that it was mutual?

    That makes ZERO logical sense. If you wanted her, you shouldn't have been so quick to break it off, I mean DUH. Like...I'm literally shaking my head...

    Anyway, it's not fair for you to stop her from moving on. That's selfish. Who's to say you can't go hook up with other girls?

    You'll grieve for about 2 weeks. Then you'll be okay. Hang with your friend, do hobbies, whatever.

    But if there is ANYTHING YOU SHOULD NEVER DO, it's talking to her. Wait until you're 100% fine with being w/o her to talk to her or you'll really get hurt.

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    • It's very unfair of you to take such a hit on me when you have no idea what the situation is. We've been unhappy for a WHILE. There was no "quickness" involved. We had been thinking of it for months and tried several different things until we were fed up.

      I fully said that I knew it was for the best. Sometimes to be happy in the long run you have to make sacrifices. It isn't rocket science.

      We both love each other, but we know we can't be together. Simple as that.

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    • He who angers you conquers you. How does it feel to give in so easily to a 19, may I say, stranger online. LOL.

      In the same vain, my 3 years your senior makes me innumerably wiser than you, and trust me, once you hit my age you'll look back on this and realize what a nutcase you are for caring so much about this.

      The best way to get over someone is to realize that she was NEVER yours to begin with.

    • You 3 years, while present, do not show.

      Now please stop instigating me.

  • it's never easy breaking up. you just have to think about it this way(it might not be true)...she brought it up, you probably won't get back together with her, move on. and you'll feel so much better. sorry if this did not help you whatsoever, but that's what I think.

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  • I'm sorry to hear about your break up but it'll take time to really get over her and to actually let go of those feelings. I know how you feel and the only thing that'll make you feel better is time and distance. I hope this can help you a little.

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  • If you're afraid of her dating other guys so soon, then why did you give her up? It sounds like you still have feelings for this girl.

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    • It's an extremely long story but we were unhappy together. We just made up for a very depressing couple. Every time we would hang out we would be depressed for one reason or another, and she was never satisfied with me. She even told me herself that I'm completely different for what she wanted.

      I'm scared she's gonna start hooking up with people who are exactly what she wanted.

      I know I may not have been ready, but it will help us both in the end. Once everything is over, we'll be better off.

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    • Thank you. I still know that if I start seeing other people right away she'll be hurt, so out of respect I'll wait till I know we're both good and ready. I just hope she's nice enough to do the same.

  • your break up is still very fresh and that's why you are feeling this way. Give it time. Or see if you can get back together. If she broke up with you she probs want want you back straight away. Its hard to say because there aren't enough details here. Spend a day crying and then go out, see your friends and start to have fun without her. You might be thinking that you can't do that? YES YOU CAN!

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What Guys Said 3

  • What exactly did you think was going to happen?

    Look...most people deal with this at some point. I wish I could tell you it will go away in the morning. Sorry. Ask me a question, you will only get the truth as I see it or know it.

    This is something only time is going to ease. Not remove. Ease.

    Don't let it knock you down. Find your feet, and meet other women.

    There are plenty of them out there.

    No...it won't be her...but what if it's someone better?

    Trust me on this. It can happen. It did for me.

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    • Makes sense. I appreciate the effort, though what you said is obvious.

      Either way, as obvious as it may be, it may be the only way to get passed this sh*t. I just wanna get several opinions.

    • We tend to not accept the obvious as the real answer.

      There has to be another way.

      I know how you are feeling...been there bro.

      Though it may feel like it, this isn't going to be fatal.

      The time you need is going to be up to you.

      Don't bury the pain.....use it to remember what you WONT do again.

      Get back out there. You aren't beat till you give up.

      It felt good to realize I could do it.

      Force yourself if you have too, but do it.

      The alternative is worse.

    • Alright, I agree with most of what your saying.

      Thank you!

  • If the break up was for the better, then you should just look the other way. Every guy is like this for most every girl. Girls I dumped that I HATE, seem to still bother me that they are with another guy. Its human nature to be competitive for girls, and even if you don't like her, and you dumped her, you lost the game. The trick is to not dwell.

    However if you still actually like her, and you feel like you were forced to break up with her because she brought it up.. you are making a mistake by not talking about it. Talk to her... What's the worst that will happen, she says "lets break up" ... but you already are!

    --Matt

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    • I know it's for the better. I see where you're going and it makes sense. But yeah, the decision was mutual. She's hurt too, but we're thinking about how we'll be better off in the long-run.

      Thank you though

  • If you're so emotional about it, then hell was it mutual.

    Get a grip. Either you wanted to break up, or you didn't. If you did want it to end, get over it. Find a new girl yourself. If you didn't, get her back. Simple.

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    • While I wish you were a LITTLE kinder about it because I'm particularly sensitive at this particular time... you're right.

      The thing is, I love her just as much as I ever did, but we were just never happy together. We couldn't hang out alone without getting depressed and talking about breaking up anyway.

      Of course I didn't WANT to break up. I love her to death. I just knew we had to. Catch my drift?

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    • Yeah, I'm just horribly confused. I'd personally stick at until I stopped having feelings for her (or she for me)

    • Well,

      Sounds like it could work, but I honestly do not see it working out that way. We've been at it for months and there's been no feelings lost.

      Yeah I don't quite expect you to understand any of my situation, but thanks for trying.

      I just, honestly, think that this way will be a quicker fix than staying with her for any longer.

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