I don't want to fall for anyone ever again?

I've been hurt to many times before, I just feel I can't take make myself fall for anyone and keep re-opening the wounds. I'd much rather wait and show love to someone who's showing it to me through merit. The only problem is that, as a guy, we are expected to be the ones to initiate and escalate. I don't know what to do. I just can't do it.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think I would agree with the other the responses. Unfortunately not all of us are lucky enough to meet the one the first time, and yes most of us get hurt more than once. Each time may be more or less painful than the time before, but we learn from those relationships and break ups. We tend to deal with it and move on.

    It would be a shame that you be too afraid to ask a girl out again because you feel your heart has been broken too many times. If you do end up meeting that one girl you may miss your chance with her by not asking, and she may be afraid to ask you. I don't think it is completely right that a guy must always initiate. I think that is why there are so many missed opportunities. The most important thing is that if you like someone, then take that opportunity. Being female, I've asked guys out before and doing so has sometimes brought closure to chapters in my life as they were not meant to be.

    As to opening up a wound. I use to think a bit like that. But now I realize every time I get hurt is a different wound being made, some heal quicker than others. Also, if you feel that your wound is re-opened, that goes to show you can heal up. Sorry if this is all metaphorical. You're stronger than you think you are.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Hey look your obviously feeling this way because your hurting right now. Everyone goes through break ups and gets dumped more than once and we all feel the same after been dumped that its just not worth the pain. Just take a break from the dating scene for a while when your ready you can start a new relationship with your eyes wide open.Time is a great healer you'l feel differently about it on future.I hope it works out for you :)

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  • i feel the same way except I'm a girl. I know what your going through and I don't want to give a guy any chances because I have been hurt so many times. whenever I see a guys name that hurt me, even if it isn't him, I get a little stab of pain thinking of him and seeing his name or face, I would like to crawl into a hole, so I don't have to feel the pain. Just take your time until you think youve found the one who won't hurt you, of course I did that and got hurt, but I really don't know what to tell you. sory, I hope this helped.

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  • I know what you mean. I'm tired as well of putting my heart in relationships and getting hurt. I'm letting The Lord decide if he wants me to be single or not. I'm pretty happy the way things are now but my feelings might change down the line.

    You aee a lot younger than me, and your feelings might change as you get older. Who knows what is in store for you? You just have to be real choosy when picking women out to date. If you get the feeling she is a player then don't date her. On the other hand God might have other things in store for you such as career or such. You have your whole life ahead of you. Some people do go through life being single and they enjoy it very much. so just play out your feelings and let them ride for now. the answer will come.

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  • think of it this way: would you rather keep yourself locked up and protected while missing all the amazing things that relationships have to offer? or would you rather put yourself out there, possibly getting hurt in the future, for the sake of even just one beautiful, imperfect, amazing, wonderful relationship?

    what's it worth to you?

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  • maybe you should get out of the game for awhile, wait till you're ready, then hop back in.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Not tryin to be a d***.

    Quit being a bitch, you get one life, don't waste dwelling over some f***ed up relationship you thought was meant to be. Just have fun and meet girls, when its furthest from your mind a least expect it is when it usually happens. You are making it too big of a god damn deal. Everyone gets hurt, its up to you to figure out how to deal with it. Letting it take over your life isn't a good approach.

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  • If you are dating girls around the same age as you, I hate to say it but it rarely ever works. Women want to be taken care of, and their own biology makes them natural nurturers from an early age. Men become nurturers through life experiences... when we see a girl who is going through the same problems we went through, you will want to rescue her and take care of her. It will happen one day. You will find the girl of your dreams.

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