How likely is it for a couple (married) but recently broken up, get back together (part 1/2) ?

It's been four months since we separated. We were together for five years, married for four this July. I broke things off with him due to his lack of help at home and him not acting like a husband should be. I guess I am old school, where a man should fix and do things at home, and I clean and occasionally he could help me with cleaning. But.. during our last year of our marriage, he completely focused on just his work and career while I was at home raising our daughter during her first year. It was a truly difficult decision to make, as I was already unhappy and him and I had sat down so many times to talk about the reasons why I was so angry and why we needed to stop fightning, but it never got anywhere, he didn't react and he continued on the way he was. I got so sick of it, I took the initiative to break up with him, because I felt that 1. I was extremely miserable and unhappy in my marriage and 2. Maybe he would wake up and react, and think.. maybe I should prove myself and try harder to be a better husband.

Now, we are both seeing people. I'm in something serious, and he's in a relationship with someone else aswell but he says its casual and he doesn't see himself falling in love with this girl. But I am so angry at how he choose to date someone two years younger than me, and someone who is a little immature. He also started making more of an effort, with his hair and clothes. He NEVER did that with me, and I always tried looking nice, and I did, and he never did the same for me. He loved being a slob around me, and now that he's with someone, all of a sudden he feels the need start looking good. A few times he has called me fat, this girl is thin and tall. I had two kids (the first I miscarried at four months) so this comment hurt me so much because I sacrificed my body to two little babies, and he had the audacity to say such hurtful things.


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What Guys Said 2

  • You broke it off. You have no reason to complain about who he dates. Not only did you break it off, you did so not because he cheated, not because he abused you, not because he had an uncontrolled addiction, but because he didn't play handyman?

  • Given your scenario, he has most likely fallen out of love and lost attraction for you. He probably felt trapped in your marriage, stayed out of comfort or perhaps obligations and you freed him by initiating the break-up. It's natural for guys to more attractive to younger girls with slimmer bodies, that's simply biological.

    Reality is, there's a lot of people not meant for marriage and it's why over 40%-50% of marriages fail, and those are just the ones that actually had the courage to break=up.


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