We have been together a little over a year. I am currently 14 weeks pregnant. We just moved in together. Yesterday my boyfriend got extremely drunk and was talking nonsense. When he drinks he does this and gets pretty mean. He always tells me that he's an a-hole but thats "the way he is". Everything was fine until he started an argument with me over how I discipline my four year old and that he's spoiled. My son is not a bad kid, of course I got defensive. It set me off edge and I poured his beer out which made him completely freak out. When I reached into the fridge he slammed the door into my arm full force. I now have a huge knot and bruise. I know that I provoked this behavior but it scared me and I left after he tried to block me from leaving. He texted me breaking up with me. I went back and asked how he justified breaking up with me over that. Out of anger I went back to pour his beer out (I know that was a stupid choice). He started to grab me, push me, and backed me up into the stove. He was inches from my face screaming. I just closed my eyes and somehow ended up punching him in the face. I didn't mean to, it just happened. I've never hit anyone before much less someone I love. He had been begging me earlier that day to hit him for being an a-hole, which was just his drunkenness talking. I know nothing justifies what I did and I feel awful. It stunned him enough to back up so I could get away. He continued to scream, now more about me hitting him. How he was going to call the cops on me. I was legitimately scared and just reacted, I don't know why, I'm not a violent person. He told me not to come back or he would call the cops. He said that I'm lucky he didn't hit me back because I would be dead. I don't know what to do at this point. Any advice? He hasn't spoken to me today since being sober. And I'm scared to say anything. I know I need to apologize, and I want to. He's already told his mom who he said is done with me now too. What do I do?
Most Helpful Guy
It sounds like you both have some responsibility in this scenario, but you have waaaaay less of a responsibilty, especially when considering what he did. In fact, you have almost none at all. If this went to court, you could not be punished for arguing with him and pouring out his beer but he could definitely be punished for hurting you by slamming the fridge door on you. I think it sounds like this is not a healthy relationship to be in, it sounds like he's gearing up to be an alcoholic. This kind of sounds like the classic abusive relationship begining that we hear about in health class. Id get out as fast as possible, even if you are pregnant and love him, bc you're going to end up trapped in an abusive relationship that would be bad for you and the future child (and the current one). The part where he wants to call the police and has made verbal and physical threats to you are only in your defense and I have no clue why his mom is done with you unless he fudged the story, Id disown any child of mine who hit their SO. Id get out of that relationship and take what he did to court, and also get child support bc there's no reason you should atay with him, but he has every reason to be paying you for what he did. Good luck, I hope you can get out safely!0
Most Helpful Girl
My opinion is that you are both responsible for that situation that happened, but also I think that violence is not an answer. But situation was really out of control. But you said that he did it earlier and it was not just "one time " situation. I personally think that he overreacted because he did not expected that you'll hit him back. You should apologize to him but you should do that in front of his family or his mom, because she is mother too and she should understand you. You are pregnant and you should keep yourself from any kind of stress. Best Wishes :)0