Do I wait or do I move on?

It's been 3 months im not really in a rush myself. I've met his family/friends im no secret. He had a toxic relationship he broke up with her 5 months before me it was a bad break up. We basically act like were together he treats me like so good I know he cares about me. I confessed my love to him but he didn't say it back we continued to do us its perfect. Being a girl my mind got curious I asked him can he see this going anywhere he said he does but not at the moment. I was heart broken I decided I couldnt stick around i went to say good bye. He told me he does love me thats why its hard for him he's afraid to hurt me he doesn't know what he wants he said everytime he's with me he wants it he wants us. He wants to be with me but can't just at moment he's not ready but he does see himself being with me he doesn't want to let me go but he doesn't want to break my heart and be a coward he doesn't know what to do and neither do I. I left thinking thats a cop out he doesn't want me he's trying to be nice to me all those things. As I went to leave he followed me got in my car sat with me as I cried and cried with me told me it kills him knowing he hurt me he didn't want to. He once again confessed his love for me, how much he cares for me, doesn't want to loose me he's scared and he knows that at the moment he's not ready he doesn't know when he will be at the moment he's trying to find himself as he was deprived for so long in a toxic relationship. he wants to try wants to see where it'll go and thinks he can be with me just doesn't want a relationship right now I love him a lot he is perfect I dont know what to do from here on I told him i'm willing to try and see what happens. I don't know what to do from this point on. I honestly thought I could accept he does love me but he doesn't want a relationship but i dont know how or if im an idiot. do I give him space, do I risk it pursue this thing we have pretend nothing ever happened move on or end it move on with my life


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What Guys Said 3

  • You've unknowingly answered your own question here but I'll still lay it all on here, you need to give him time, as you said that he was in a toxic relationship so he obviously is hurt and from what it looks like, he is blaming himself for the bad relationship and he cares about a lot about you and can't see you hurt. for the time being, tell him to take his time and see how things pan out at its own pace. you can't and shouldn't force it considering what he's just been through.

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    • So i'm not an idiot there is a possibility? I have been hurt in the past deeply before and I'm scared I understand how he feels but now that it's me in the position I dont know how to do this I dont know what to do. I am certain on staying with him because I dont want to give up I love him how do I help him how do I help us? ! I know being insecure is not going to help us do you think it's time to trust my gut and my heart hope that were going to work out and let it be what it is? Im worried if I back of he'll get comfortable with out me but if i do he might realize my existance is worth holding on to but than if im to full on he'll continue to freak out. All I wanna do is get through this know my boundaries know where to go but I can't think straight cause all I think is that I'm gonna loose him and it makes me want to do everything not to.

  • Me personally, I would just keep on trying to be with him if that's what you want. It will probably suck and it will probably hurt but if you feel it's worth it, stick around for it.

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    • So i'm not an idiot there is a possibility? I have been hurt in the past deeply before and I'm scared I understand how he feels but now that it's me in the position I dont know how to do this I dont know what to do. I am certain on staying with him because I dont want to give up I love him how do I help him how do I help us? !

    • Okay now that I can not answer. How you help him is a very case by case thing. There's not really a one size fits all solution for that. Just try your best whatever way feels right.

  • Wait and let him heal infact help him heal

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    • So i'm not an idiot there is a possibility? I have been hurt in the past deeply before and I'm scared I understand how he feels but now that it's me in the position I dont know how to do this I dont know what to do. I am certain on staying with him because I dont want to give up I love him how do I help him how do I help us? !

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    • So by helping us it's time to trust my gut and my heart hope that were going to work out and let it be what it is? Im worried if I back of he'll get comfortable with out me but if i do he might realize my existance is worth holding on to but than if im to full on he'll continue to freak out. All I wanna do is get through this know my boundaries know where to go but I can't think straight cause all I think is that I'm gonna loose him and it makes me want to do everything not to.

    • I've been exactly in the same place and I used to do this, give it some space and this fear of yours I share it too everyday I think we don't talk it's been months maybe she has gotten used to be without me, but the love within i can feel it and most importantly I'm at peace with myself, I miss her everyday though but this is life, hope it gets better for you

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