Ex insulted my weight during argument - did he mean it?

Me and my ex-boyfriend (who I am still on friend terms with) recently had an argument. It became spiteful and I told him I got with his best friend ages ago after we had broke up. The argument became extremely explosive and he absolutely tore apart my appearance. He called me fat and said everyone has always thought this too. He insulted my body and my boobs and said insecurities that I think about myself. He knows I'm extremely body conscious and I've battled with eating disorders in the past. Let's just say everything I hate about myself he made a point of insulting. After the argument he apologised and said he didn't mean it, but now I'm questioning myself. Did he? Or was it just spite? He lies a lot so I don't know what to think. He's always worshipped my body but now I honestly don't know what to think. I'm a UK size 6/8. I could always attach photos later if people want.

I just need opinions, thank you


Most Helpful Guy

  • No photos, you're in a vulnerable place after what has just happened. You don't know who you're getting advice from. They could be a total creep, they could be the type of person who zeroes in on someone's flaws and attacks. This is the Internet - no photos. Besides even if people say you look good will you believe it, or will you look for reasons why they don't mean it?

    But if even one person says you don't look good, that will crush you right now.

    You hurt your ex so he hurt you- but he has no ground to stand on. You did nothing wrong. He probably has fears of not being good enough and that's why he reacted that way. He knows your core belief is that your appearance is _____. So he went there.

    I would cease all contact with him. Clearly he has no concept of boundaries and how far is too far.

    And anyways people like this need to be knocked down a few pegs- at least 3 or so

    • If you hadn't said he lies regularly...

      Clearly this guy just does what benefits him in the moment.

    • Show All
    • @simplitico do you ever have days when you love your body?

    • No. I can't remember the last time I did. I've never felt content there's always been something I want to alter. It's mostly my weight that bothers me though.

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What Guys Said 7

  • The argument got extremely volatile, you threw out "I slept with your best friend when we broke up" so he hit you in a sensitive spot (it's obvious that you are sensitive about your appearance or else you wouldn't have even made this post). Volatile arguments lead to people saying things just to hurt the other person.

  • it doesn't really matter whether he meant it or not, the real issue here is your confidence about your body! you need to work on that so you can turn round and just tell this guy he's a dick and he isn't getting to you.
    Look I know confidence doesn't happen over night and its hard but it is the only way to truly be happy long term, i wish you luck

  • that is precisely why it isn't usually a good idea to be friends with your ex,
    by the way why did you two break up? that might be helpful to answer the question

    • I'm beginning to learn that now. 😂 Yes, I broke up with him a year ago because I was suffering with personal issues. There was no hard feelings and our relationship was stable and good, with little mistakes here and there but we first began dating when we were 15 so it was our first serious relationship, hence why there's been so much immaturity since.

  • You have to understand that an insult is supposed to insult you.

    I suppose the thing you've got to keep in mind is that he SAID those things when he was angry. Now he's not angry, he regrets saying those things and he may genuinely be apologetic. Thing is, if and when he gets angry at you again, he may well say it again to you.

    Whether or not he means it isn't important. He'd say those things to insult you regardless of if he meant it. Much like how you would want to insult someone you hate too, even if those things aren't true, you know it'd hurt them and have the desired effect.

  • remember people always say heart talk in anger. u don't need to worried. in this stupid world there are few people who like people from heart not from there figure. Beauty Fades Away heart stay beautiful.

  • You told him you cheated on him. He went on the offensive and wanted to hurt you. It isn't snout what you think but his he wants you to think. You should split up. Clearly you are both in the wrong relationship.

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