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This is great! My only opinion is that I would change "white, like the chair I'm sitting in / in front of a simulation screen" to "white, like the chair I'm sitting on". Just so that you don't have "in" twice in a row.
thanks for the advice
That is AWSOME! You should certainly submit that. I would like to keep your poem if you don't mind too.
Keep? what do u mean?
Not use, just put aside as something interesting to read.
ah! okay. i don't mind :)
Yeah our future generation is so smart. If this poem is written by you then I think it good poem. 8/10. You should submit this poem.
It sounds interesting, you should definitely give it a try 8/10
Change "in" to "on" in the 7th line. The poem is unique but could use some improvement. It didn't really have a powerful impact, put more emotion in it.
Uhhhh it's plain AWESOME! submit it now!!!
This poem is AMAZING
that's really good!
i didn't like it
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