So ladies, I was just curious as to why it seems to be so difficult for many women to not wait for their boyfriends or husbands get back from overseas? I have seen it many times with a bunch of my friends finding out while we were in country or once we got home that their women had cheated. What's up with that?
Most Helpful Girl
I've never been in that position so this is all going to be me projecting into the hypothetical.
Ok, so assuming when my partner left, I was truly in love with him and had no inention of cheating while he was gone, why would I? Well, I'm trying to go on with normal life but spending a lot of time missing him and worrying that he might never come back or when he does the experience will have changed him so much that we won't connect anymore. So, I try to retain that closeness but it's a bit hard with only emails, letters and phone calls that he can't ever guarantee the exact time of. I can't call him after a bad day, I can't go to him when I'm upset and curl up in his arms to feel better, I don't get to celebrate the great things that happen in our lives with him. And I'm wondering who he goes to for companionship while he's away. Basically, I spend my days worrying about him, missing him, and feeling like we're drifting apart. Then of course there's the feeling of being on the shelf- I never get to SEE my boyfriend, never get to feel wanted the way I used to, but when I go out I can't experience that either because I'm not single. So then maybe I start to resent it a little while feeling guilty, still loving him, missing him, and worrying about him.
Into all this confusion walks a guy who, at least a first, is there for the moments my partner can't be and doesn't necessarily expect anything romantic in return. But the connection builds up, I start to feel more connected to HIM than my partner and voila- I'm cheating.
Then, I can't tell him because I feel like I'm taking away this huge source of comfort from an amazing guy who on top of being a good boyfriend gave up his life to become a soldier. So, I don't tell him until he gets back, thinking that's better since he won't have to deal with it while he's overseas in a warzone.
*NOTE* I'm not justifying cheating, I personally think it's the worst kind of betrayal you can commit, especially to someone who puts their life on the line like that. Better to just break it off if you can't handle the distance rather than leading him on, letting him look forward to coming home to be with you then have his leave ruined by you stomping on his heart.0