Does this make me a stalker ex?

He dumped me and moved a month and half ago and I've been awful to him asking him all these questions about our relationship claiming he never loved me bc he cheated. Constantly calling and texting him and his family. Yelling at him and calling him horrible names. Logging into his snapchat etc. So to make it up to him I was going to send him a cookie bouquet with a note apologizing. Well I asked his family for the address and they all freaked out on me and told him. He got pissed and said he didn't want anything and blocked me on everything. I was just trying to be nice and apologize for what I did. How can I fix this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes you are being a stalker. Yes you are being inappropriate. No you are not helping yourself. He is the one who cheated, give yourself some dignity. Move on. You deserve much better. He simply isn't worth it. What you are doing is not good at all. Not gooooood. Very emberrassing. And contacting his family? That is in my opinion outrageous. A relationship is a private matter between you and that person. Involving third parties is unacceptable. Its not the end of the world. I hope you have learned your lesson for the next guy who comes along. It will get better, but you have to move on first.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Anybody that has been cheated on can relate to what your going through. I don't like to tell guys I date this bc I think it will make them see me as an easy target but every guy I have ever gotten serious with has cheated on me. I realize now it's bc I get to comfortable in a relationship and lazy and men like adventure and fun. They get lazy with you then someone comes along that is fun and Bam... bye bye relationship. So now when things start to get boring I mix it up. That being said (to help u in future relationships) I hate to tell you but the only way this will get any easier is to stop what you are doing. you are just your torturing yourself and pushing him further and further away. your best bet is to just walk away. Maybe a few months or more from now u can shoot him a message apologising and he will then hear it but right now he is just thinking your wanting his address to stalk him more. So wait... then say ur sorry. if you even care to then. I promise 6 months from now u won't give two shits about this guy.

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    • Thank you! I can't wait to not think about him

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 9

  • Sometimes you have to just realize that you've screwed something up so badly that there is no fixing it and you have to leave it be.

    I don't know the whole situation here, but from what I just read in your post, unfortunately I think you've found one of those situations.

    I think you should leave it be.

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    • p. s. never log onto an ex's account for literally any reason, not even just a Netflix account.

  • He's not worth anymore of your time, eat those cookies yourself and forget about him to the best of your ability.

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  • Leave me alone and send me that cookie bouquet. I'll give it a good home.

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  • The problem is you won't never get all the answers you need. But what you can do is try to call him, if he doesn't answer just let him a message and if he doesn't answer then let it go...
    But if you can talk with him, then quietly ask him about the questions you're wondering just to emit you to understand it better.
    Hope it'll permit you to move on 😁

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    • He blocked me bc I kept asking questions. I just wanted to know the truth about why he chose me over his ex that he cheated with. I think it's bc she had hurt him and he felt guilty. I don't think he ever loved me he confused guilt with love.

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    • How can I move on without knowing the truth. All I want is closure.

    • I know and I can totally understand but unfortunately for you, unless you really want to stalk him and also probably according to the rules of your Country (even if I don't know where you're from), it'll be tricky to get it.
      This guy doesn't deserve you and what he did is not good at all so really go away, don't talk about him and just go straight !

  • By leaving him alone. Cookie bouquet after all that. LOL.

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    • He loves cookies. I just wanted to make him smile.

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    • @FunIt well I didn't know they would react that way. But after all of that I decided to test him and told him I ordered it to be picked up. If he loved me he would go get it if not he wouldn't... He told me he wouldn't so I cancelled it. He told me right then all I needed to know.

    • He already told you through his actions before all of that that he didn't love you or want to be with you. You really should have stopped after asking for the address and them getting freaked out. Any further move makes you look crazy, even if it was just a "test". The only move you need to be making is to move on!

  • Forget him. He cheated on you, don't bother apologizing. He doesn't deserve one. He cheated, nothing you can do and you shouldn't do anything besides be rude to him.

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  • You should go by his place unannounced. That's what usually works the best.

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  • Send me the cookie bouquet, don't be shy

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What Girls Said 18

  • That's some serious crazy. You know you've broken the law by logging into his private social media? As well as dragging his family into his private business and letting all of them know about your crazy behaviour?

    I get that you're hurt, but you need to grow up. Stop contacting him, leave him alone and move on. Closure is an excuse for people who refuse to move on with their lives to continue bad behaviour which you've done in bucketloads. Stop before you get yourself into trouble

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  • Don't send him anything! He had a choice and he can suffer the consequences and I hold myself to the same standards. I only ever cheated once and it was an ex and of course he was distraught and livid and I knew I deserved it all and I lived through it and I'm a better person for it

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    • Do you think I was right to yell at him and do all that other stuff then?

    • Yep, I think it was well within reason. You're a human

  • Yes you are the crazy ex. You will always be in his book. Nothing you do now will change that. Now why in the would would you message his family? That's low. Keep some of the dignity you have left and move on. Yes, he cheated and his a loser, now move on and don't beg a man that doesn't want you. Love yourself enough to learn from this experience and move on. Stop chasing him, in the end he is the one that should be apologizing for cheating and he's not, he blocked you, he's done with you. Good luck

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    • I messaged his family for their advice bc when he cheated they were there for me and are actually the ones to convince me to get back with him.

    • No you shouldn't get back with a cheater. He'll do it again, if he's not apologizing and if he's not knocking your door and calling you, then stop chasing him. Maybe one day he'll unblock you and message you but right now leave him alone.

  • You are. Just leave him alone.

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    • I'm a good person... Just a little lost bc of the break up.

  • Whoa! The best thing you can do is nothing. Don't do a thing. Maybe apologize. But they probably won't change their mind about you. You crossed a line way before you asked for their address.

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  • As hard as it is I think its best to try let it go. Maybe go and seek some professional help - there's no shame in needing someone to talk to and hello you through this hard time. As much as you say you were just trying to say sorry, leave it. If you're going to talk again keep the ball in his court. He hurt you and doesn't deserve your energy!!

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  • The best way to fix this is to leave it the hell alone. He obviously doesn't want to talk to you and from what you wrote, you sound like a crazy person. Leave him alone, that's the best gift you can give him.

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  • Time is the only thing gonna fix this. As much as it hurts, you have only one choice-- you have it let it go. Maybe after you wedge some time in between the two of you, he'll unblock you and be more willing to accept your apology.

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  • leave him alone

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  • I can understand why he left.

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    • He cheated 4 times.. And still talked to her.. Yet claimed he loved and wanted me. It did make me crazy.

    • Then leave him alone and move on with your life

    • I still love him it's not that easy

  • It's hard but move on. He cheated on you for a reaso.

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    • He still loved his ex

    • More reason for you to move on. You can't convince him to love you. Even though you shouldn't want redemption, your only chance is to give him space. And lots of it.

  • u can't fix. let him go.

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  • Please, just stop. You are acting like an insane person.

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  • Leave him alone. That's the definition of a stalker ex.

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  • Just leave him alone

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  • Concentrate on your own healing and give it time. If some time passed and you still want to apologise then do it then. But until it's better if you let things calm down for both of you. Especially for your own sake. You deserve better than someone who dumps you.

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  • You can't. Get help and leave the poor guy alone.

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  • you completely destroyed any chance of getting back together that you had. he was wrong to cheat, but your behaviour is crazy and off the hinges. let it go now. all you can do is move on

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