Is it normal to still be caught up on my ex 2 years after breaking up with her? How can I get over her or get closure for myself?

Long story short. Met a girl online as a pen pal in 2014 and soon after we met in person in her city. We connected and started a relationship. We'd meet every 2-3 months depending how money was for weeks to a month at a time, and this went on for a year. We both started back at college and because she'd been suffering with mental health issues/confidence throughout her whole teenage years she became paranoid I'd find a new girlfriend that was better than she was, she'd even look up girls in my class (only actually know their first name) and then cry about how pretty they were. I thought it would be best to end things after she suggested we go on a break. I agreed because I knew she could only get better and invest more time in herself if she wasn't thinking about not being able to meet with me. She didn't take it well and lashed out and said I was the worst by ever, etc. Even tho we both know I'd have done anything for her even if it meant hurting myself.
I don't blame her for being angry because she's not a bad person. I just wish it had gone better or different.

It's been two years since and pretty much the whole time since it ended I think about her. Every day things remind me of her. Song that come on the radio can spark a thought or something on the tv. Even the rain can remind me of how we'd cuddle on the sofa when the wether was crap and when I think about those times I remember how great it felt to hold her and just be with her.

I'm not even sure where to start on getting over her. Maybe I don't want to?

She's doing a lot better mentally now and that's the only thing that's stopped me from getting in contact with her because I'd hate to ruin her happiness just to make myself feel some sort of closure. I just don't know what to do to be honest. She consumes at least 60% of my thoughts and I've not felt the same about anyone else after her.


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What Girls Said 2

  • If you miss her so much contact her. Everyone deserves a second chance. Maybe she still thinks of you too. It's been 2 years, who knows maybe you guys can work it out this time. Your guy friends will probably tell you something like "move on, there's other girls" but if you want advice from a girl then contact her. Maybe she changed maybe not and you will find out if you do.

  • In my opinion I think you should get over her and let her do her own thing for a while. I know it's been two years but with those two years she's gotten better so I'd say let her be more happier and the maybe possibly contact her years from now.. but if you do so you let yourself hold on to someone that may not even be there. I know it's not easy to get over someone, because everything you see it brings you back to a certain memory it'll take time for that to go away. It's easier said than done but you can do. Don't get too caught up on someone because maybe the person that was meant for you is closer than you think and you're just too hung up on one person.


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