Ever dated someone who was depressed & scared of receiving?

I'm dating this girl & it's been about 4months now & within the last month she's been really going through these moods. She tells me EVERYTHING & I mean everything. She's had a pretty rough life growing up with no parental guidance to guide her through life telling her what's right/wrong. She's witnessed her father overdose & her mother revert to drinking to cope which made her pick up a drinking habit. When she drinks she becomes a different person & do things to hurt the one she's love (flirting with other girls) Although we're not in a relationship she talks about commitment with me a lot. We've had conversation about her past relationship damaged her & caused her major trust issues. I've met her mother & her mother always thank me for the kind words of wisdom I share with her daugther whenever she's stressed. She comes to me for everything weather its advice, opinions, to vent, or just to call me and just not say anything. We're comfortable with each other & she's expressed she's very comfortable with me. Recently she scared me b/c she called crying saying she doesn't want to live anymore, how she's going to miss me, & that she loved me. Freaked me out & forced me to call her mom & close friends. Ever since then she's been extremely distant & I feel like she's pushing me away. I care for her deeply & love her extremely but I'm so broken right now. She tells me she loves me & can trust me with her life then turn around days later & tells me she's talking to other people & how she feels like she's not ready for a relationship right now b/c she needs to find herself & how she doesn't want to hurt me she wants to be honest & tell me she talks to other girls. I feel betrayed in a way b/c I felt like I was her person & I felt our connection/bond has ended in a way I've been there for her. I haven't reached out to her since & neither has she, she views my snaps I make but that's about it. I'm concerned for her :(


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What Guys Said 1

  • She is damaged. She likely does not have very high self esteem and feels that one day you will hurt her, so she sabotages things with you. She needs help you cannot provide her. All you can do is support her and be there for her as she goes through it. If she refuses, you need to think really hard what your next move is. You cannot save her. All it takes is one split second of a dumb idea when drunk to end it all and leave you holding a big bag of guilt.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I was in a relationship where I was needing emotional support from them but they also needed it from me. We were bad for each other because we were both depressed. And we thought we made it better for each other but we were actually bringing each other down more. He knew he couldn't continue the relationship because he was on the edge and I had to let him go but I still love him. You just have to let them know you'll always be there and just support them ok whatever way you can. Encourage them to find a councillor or someone they trust to talk things through. Sometimes you want to be the therapist for them. Listen and make them feel better. And you can, but what they really need is professional help. Otherwise you'll end up hurting yourself

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