Should I tell my ex about my early miscarriage?

I was with him for only a few months but cared deeply for him. He's already a dad, and has a six year old daughter whom he has joint custody of. He is a phenomenal dad and I know he wants to have more kids in the future, but not quite at this moment. Stupidly, we weren't always the most careful with birth control, and then I went on the pill only about a month ago, mid-cycle. We broke up three days ago. I found out that I was miscarrying a baby yesterday. The doctor estimated it at only 5 weeks, and I didn't know I was pregnant due to cycle changes with the pill. Regardless, it's still a terrible emotional and physical pain, especially at this already fragile time.

So... should I tell him? A part of me feels like he has the right to know, another part of me feels like I should just let it be.

To be clear, I would not be telling him this information in hopes of getting back together right now. More of just an FYI. There is a small chance that we could get back together in the future, as our relationship ended over being in very different places in our lives, and both of us being super busy and not having a ton of time and energy to put into a relationship, but we both still have pretty intense feelings for each other. It just doesn't work right now.

  • Yes, tell him. He has the right to know.
    40%(6)52%(16)Vote62%(10)
  • No, don't tell him. It doesn't matter anyway.
    33%(5)23%(7)Vote12%(2)
  • If you two ever get back together, tell him at that point.
    27%(4)25%(8)Vote26%(4)
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Another note... we're both in our early 30's, and always had very open and honest communication with each other. And we ended in an amicable place. Not sure if that factors in to anyone's votes.
After much deliberation, I told him yesterday at his place. He told me he was glad to know, and that he was so sorry it had happened, and we held each other for a while. We also expressed that we do both still deeply care for one another, and that maybe our paths would cross again when timing was better. I hate that he's the best guy I've ever known and I can't be with him.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I would take "let it be" for 200 points.
    You broke up, and the last traces of him, left you.
    Now, if you were PREGNANT and it took, THEN you tell him. but this one is gone... so... good riddance. you don't believe me?
    Ok so you tell him... then what?
    is he gonna shove the baby back?

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What Girls Said 1

  • No. There's no point in saying anything now

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