Guys, I divorced my ex-husband of 19 years for cheating and he settled for the other woman, why?

My ex-husband of 19 years cheated on me with co-worker lied about it even though I caught him once I left him he settled for The Other Woman he moved in with her he still with her and he's doing things with her that he never did with me this is very confusing?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • People cheat for a LOT of reasons. I know, I've been on both sides of the isle. Primarily they are missing something from their original relationship - this is for both genders.
    Unfortunately for you it's highly likely you could have salvaged your marriage with some introspection and some third part assistance. When you booted him he was left with his backup option - HER. What did you expect? That he was going to come crawling back and BEG?

    Guys are very susceptible to a woman coming onto him that strokes his ego, pays attention to him like his wife doesn't, and she has nothing to lose. It's also called 'preselection', where if he's good enough to be married to someone else he must be a catch so she thinks perhaps she could snag him. They pour on the flirting and attention. Just exactly what he's missing from his wife.

    It's also called 'mate-poaching'. Sad state of affairs, but it works with both genders.

    My recommendation is to move on with your life, find someone new, and live your life to the best of your ability. Your ex is a forgone conclusion.

    Just a suggestion, but next time take better care of your man.

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What Guys Said 14

  • You never noticed anything wrong in your relationship?

    lack of communication maybe, lack of sex etc...

    If you did all the thimgs physically, mentally and spiritually for a partner that one should generally try to think about... I wouldn't understand why..

    Whether male or female though every needs certain things and amounts of contact...

    Don't be surprised if you were neglecting your partner... I'm not saying it's ok for him to cheat...

    Generally though cheating is caused by both parties and not one alone...

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  • Because he likes her more? He cheated on you because he wasn't totally happy with you? Because you divorced him? Why would you think he would not go to her after you divorced him? If find your thought process on this confusing.

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  • I'm not sure why you are so bothered. If he cheated on you clearly his heart was not longer in your marriage and you are better off without him

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  • my dad was married to my mom for 20 years then left with a woman was cheating with for at least 5 years. I don't know why they do it but some guys shouldn't get married

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  • Because he is an asshole. You won't get closure on this. You just need to let go and learn to move on. This isn't your fault, this is all on him.

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  • Im not trying to sound mean but he's probably tired of you/over you and has found "new life" in this new woman.

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  • I understand why you are worried about this and thinking about this but you don't need the answer to this question. you need to get yourself back to thinking about the future and enjoying your life as much as you can. leave the past where it belongs

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  • If you left him then what's the problem?
    If he's doing different things with her it's just because every relationship is different, not because she's better in any way.

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  • Probably loved her more.

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  • You married a jerk who just used you. He probably got bored of you, he's still a young teen in an adults body

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  • He loves her more

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  • You divorced him... Obviously he was going to grow his new relationship.
    Why do you care?

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  • come on just leave he's just not luck to have u that's all just don't stress ur self

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  • Same here, she on me and I was married 17 years, she immediately married him the moment the papers were finalized, it still irks me and I have no one still

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