How to move on after being dumped in a 8 year relationship?

We lived together for 7.5 years we both had son's the same age of 3 when we met. They have been raised like brothers. I also have 3 kids that live with me there mom is no where in our lives nor does she pay any money to help. My recent ex , moved thousand miles away 7 months ago and won't talk to us it hurts my son he is sad now there gone life is not as fun it feels so empty. I was always nice paid all the bills spoiled both of them with everything they wanted. I found out she was sexting a old 3rd cousin of all people and called her out on it she then got upset I got involved and moved out. We miss being family and all the fun we had she doesn't care how much it hurts us and I don't know how to be happy and move on without them. This is my 3rd long term relationship and my favorite I thought it was my last. We were so in love the first 5 years got engaged. then she started to change It hurts so much to see my son lonley and sad without his stepbrother we miss them both. and I can't change it I have no family aside from my kids for holidays or weekend get togethers I can't seem to meet girls or friends. My business seems to suffer from my new lack of motivation I really don't know how to cope with this in any real way aside from reading too much about everyone's posted same situation. I don't even want to get off the couch or go to work I'm broken and it's getting worse everyday. I need a miracle or to end myself. But I love my kids I don't want to die and leave them to suffer in a cruel world but I want the insanity and pain to stop. I tried counseling but it seemed silly and really no help. I can't stop wanting and missing how it use to be. I hate this world and how nothing lasts happiness is elusive and heaven is probably not even real. What's the point of our mondain lives? Your life may change the same way someday sooner or later love is temporary or a one way street everyone is selfish and seem so fake. how do we find peace in knowing this?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • First of all why did she leave? There has to be a reason. Don't let your son see you suffer, that's the worst thing you can do to a child. Pretend to be happy around them. This isn't healthy. You will survive. I promise

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    • I guess it's grass is greener syndrome. Who ever knows why people leave.

Most Helpful Guy

  • ...
    Brother, I understand.
    I've been in a similar situation both as the kid, and as the dad... It's tough, man.
    Listen... having been on both of those sides of the situation I can tell you that the single most important thing you can do is focus all of your attention on the love you have for your son. Not all in this world is bad. But it takes some serious effort sometimes to see the good that's there. And don't you dare say that love is a lost cause. Take this time to reconnect with your son. It'll be difficult, especially right now until you're both able to process all thats happened and move on. But there's nothing that will help the both of you out more than taking the time right now to just be a dad. And this is extremely important... And it's the hardest part... stay away from complaining or saying negative things about your ex around your son. He feels as hurt and confused about the situation as you do, and telling him bad things about someone he loved can make him resent you in the long run. Take him fishing. It's a great way to regain a little perspective.
    I sincerely hope the best for you, man. Take my advice. It will make a world of difference.

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    • I don't talk bad about my ex. She is not his mom. But been together since he was 3 with her son same age who we now get no contact with it's not healthy for either child

    • I wish there was more you could do. Just keep being there for your son, sir. You gotta be that anchor.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • 3 way

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    • That helps nothing. Dumb comment

  • You need to find a hot single chick without a son. Chicks love single dads they think it's hot. You don't need to settle for a chick with damaged goods.
    Also, start working out.

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    • I love my stepson. I'm the only dad he has ever known

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