I think it's been four months? But I wanted to just message him and apologize. I keep thinking about him, and I think that's mainly because we ended so badly, and I feel so guilty about the whole situation. I understand we can't ever be together again, and sure I may want to, but if it ever came down to it, I wouldn't date him again. I went through enough heartbreak, and I realized how he brought out an ugliness in me. Anyhow, I feel like apologizing to him will create a more sort of peaceful closure? I think things are better when they end peacefully, it's easier to get over it. Am I crazy for wanting to do this? I feel like I'll be able to move on with my life. I don't want to be friends, I just want the air to be clear. I just don't want him to be like "omg my girlfriend from months ago is psycho."' Is this a bad idea?
Most Helpful Girl
hi there, from only being able to read your words here, i see this, it ended badly and you still feel guilty even though you feel even now by being with him it provoked something in you which wasn't a part of you that you feel isn't really you and hasn't been present since departing from him. you dont see any future getting back with him or even the need to be friends, you desire a peaceful closure only on the grounds of what you imagine his impression of you is? so on one hand it sounds like you are saying you may of acted in ways that were unappealing however perhaps driven by his behaviours leading to you ending it? and now you are at odds with this in feeling the need to apologize to him for the interactions between you. now dont get me wrong i understand this with complicated human emotions, ask yourself this, do you know you are not a psycho? and he played a part in how you ended up behaving? you do not want anything from this knowing eachother in the future in anyway? so... if you brave approaching him with an apology and he responds in a way that doesn't fit with you can you cope with that and get what you claim and feel you want? a peaceful closure? i believe your essence in truth of wanting to create a positive energy im just unsure that you will get the response you deserve by making this move and will get hurt, that said its your move im just trying to give a perspective, for me by reading your words you are a kind mature soul who doesn't need to do this, purely because you can even conceive it and that is enough to move on with your life. be careful with yourself hunny xx1