What do you think about this breakup? Do you think there's a chance of reconciliation?

19, dated this 24 yr old for like seven months. This was my first time dating as I have anxiety, and honestly I was hesistant but I decided to give him a chance. Before he met, he was single for about 5 months after breaking up with his ex of 2yrs. He broke up with her because she cheated on him. And they still talked during our course of dating, which I should have deemed as a red flag. He said that was his first serious relationship so I was like, well okay.. I wish I had listen to my gut because he was already dishonest, manipulative, and pressuring. Like the second time we hung out, he forced me to kiss him. But besides this, he was nice, funny, and "caring" He knew I had no experience so I think that's why he took advantage of me. I noticed from June, he talked to me less, but we still saw each other once a week. Anyhow, I ended things with him because he pressured me into almost giving oral sex. I'm a virgin while he is not, and I told his boy SEVERAL times that I am waiting. I went over to his place, and he pressured me to take off my underwear. And what hurt me is he called me selfish for not giving BJ. I thought we could maybe work things out. So I tried to talk about how I felt, and the last straw was he hung up on me. He showed no remorse and said because I was asking questions over repeatedly. But we had the last convo last month. After I told him how I felt, he said that he would distance himself from me so he won't hurt me anymore and that was that. I can't stop thinking about him despite the way he treated me. The relationship was getting too physical, but I keep thinking about the good times...
It's been about 3weeks NC. Even though I deleted him on Snap, he still has me but he can't see my story. It just hurts because I gave my all to him and risked certain things. He was the only person I was close to these last months. Do you think there's a chance he'll realized what he did? Like if he can talk to an ex that cheated on him?

Updates:
He met my mom in Feb and she thought he seemed controlling so she didn't fully support it. Plus she didn't like how we had diff majors. I really did like him as he was the first person I opened up to since 2011, but I'm trying to move on... Even the thought of him with another girl hurts. But I gave too many chances so..

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I feel like the chances of him realizing what he did is very slim. I feel like if he does ever "change" he is just putting up a front and just trying to mask his true feelings where in time he will show his true colors.

    Also, it seems like he wants to get very physical with you and won't really be able to wait too long for you to put out. I fear if you do get back together with him he might just want to try to marry you just so he can have sex with you

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Honey, if there is any chance of reconciliation it'll be because he wants something physical from you. He does not respect your boundaries, and although this may sound like a lot to want from every single male it's absolutely primitive and the base of every single relationship. Therefore, you shouldn't even have to ask and it's not a lot. You are an equal to him; he has no right to pressure you into doing something that you don't want to. The fact that you're asking this question means that you know that. You're an intelligent young woman. You can do much better. It may be hard and it may take time but I promise that you'll be glad that you left him in the past. The first step is learning to respect yourself!
    Good luck,
    Nobody is ever worth your wellbeing (unless it's a close family member in a crises)
    ❤️

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 7

  • Run. He treated you like shit and didn't respect your boundaries. Never be with someone who doesn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

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  • No, I would not hold out for reconciliation. Time to move on.

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    • Yeah I'm trying.. but it's hard.

    • I know it's hard. It's always hard. Try to spend more time with your friends and eventually let them set you up on some casual dates with some good guys. You may not feel a spark, but you'll be treated with the respect you deserve.

  • why would you want to get back with that trash? Do yourself and all the other fish looking for fish like you or me in the sea a favor and look elsewhere. 😉

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  • nope, there is no chance
    this opinion was to make balance on the amount of opininion given by the red side and the blue side. as you would probably find this in the blue side, please refrain to hurt me,

    I liked blue, by the way

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  • I don't know just find something else to do

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  • move on

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  • Is time to move on

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What Girls Said 7

  • I would not hold on to the hope of reconciliation... If y'all did ever get back together he would not change his ways and would still pressure you... There ARE guys out there who have the same mindset as you pertaining to sex (hard to believe I know) Moving on from this guy will allow you to find someone who genuinely cares and respects your wishes... I know this is probably not too easy to swallow... It's hard to let go of our first love

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  • I don't know why you'd want to honestly. Block, delete and move on. You will never get an apology if that's what you're after.

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  • Unless you really hate yourself and trying to punish yourself, why would you want something like this?

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  • This guy sounds like a narcissist and clearly had no empathy for your feelings. You feel attached because he betrayed your trust and even though you know he's no good a part of you wants to believe he really cared. I completely understand how you feel. Just know you made the right decision! Going back to someone like that will only do more damage as he will see you as a doormat and it will just get worse, trust me I learned the hard way! Look up signs your dating a narcissist and you will probably find a lot of similarities in his treatment of you. The live bombing phase (when he made you feel special) is why your struggling to get him out of your mind now but trust me you will be ok! You are still young and have your whole future ahead of you, you deserve to be with someone who respects and loves you, so you won't ever have to question their true motives! Take care and always know your worth!

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  • You better try and get over this dumbass. He will most definitely not change and you deserve so much better than this manipulative and pressuring bitch

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  • Please don't get back with him. He's a bad man. Just move on. It'll be hard. But you could do it!

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  • The decision to break up was the best for you. Don't get back to him unless you're deeply masochistic.

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