Wanted to be with her and I can't believe there is someone else?

I found out on the weekend that one of the girls I really wanted to date and had been interested in for years had secretly found another boyfriend during the winter and had never told me. I had never seen him before as its a long distance thing and he's never really here much ( the small town ) we both live in. I had seen her many times this summer at her work , she works at a pub here and I had talked to her many times and no one said anything about this boyfriend or how serious it was.

a part of me just can't believe she's rather be with someone who doesn't even live here and can't hardly spend any time with over being with the guy who literally lives just down the road and is absolutely crazy about her and goes to visit her at work all the time

I don't know what to make of it all , a part of me is really upset as I've felt she was dishonest to me and had been acting like a tease all summer when she was near me and wasn't acting like someone who had a boyfriend. then another part of me see's it as an opportunity to try and date someone else , sure I really liked her but maybe it just isn't happening and I need to see what else is out there as I have meet some other girls this summer


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm sorry. Sometimes this happens


Most Helpful Guy

  • If you're interested in someone for years and you still haven't achieved the relationship you want with her, you should have long moved on. It's totally okay to have long term seduction, like someone you're spending months or in some cases years trying to win over, as long as you're much more focused on other girls. I'm gonna assume that since you made this post, you've been investing way too much in this one girl.

    There's a million reasons why a girl might choose this new guy over you. Just take it is a learning lesson to ask a girl you're interested in as early as possible, like even within 1-5 minutes of meeting her, and move on if she's not interested.

    • part of the problem was there'd be gaps in time when I wouldn't see her , she's more here during the summer and holidays , was away for school the rest of the time. if I had asked her out when I first meet her that would of been 2012 and she'd have been maybe 17 at the time , I don't know if that would of worked out either

    • Well then you just had poor timing and perhaps this other guy got lucky. It sucks but it happens. If she becomes available again, then great you can pursue her again, but you shouldn't be so focused on one girl.

    • one of her co workers at the pub seems to like me but I've never been that interested in her and feel it just be a rebound or an attempt to make original girl jealous so I doubt that I'd pursue that one. there is some other girls I know and do talk to here. I just really had a thing for the one I posted question about , she just drove me crazy

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