Why don't guys open up?

a lot of guys I've dated are like brick walls


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Most Helpful Guy

  • When guys interract with each other, there is almost never any discussion about feelings. Men generally are not worried about how they feel, or how they make each other feel. Why? because if one guy hurts another guy's feelings, the problem is generally resolved with a fight, with a dominant male coming out on top. Talking about feelings generall puts you at the bottom of this sort of interaction.

    Some guys go so far as to define feelings as the sensory inputs that come from something touching their skin. "feelings" as discussed by women are then generally defined as "wussie stuff."

    But here's another interesting point. Some people say that women offer sex to get love, and men offer love to get sex. This is not exactly a true or fair statement, and in most cases, when a person actually does this, they end up lying about how they feel, or faking orgasms.

    All the same, it is pretty clear that guys say they are interested in women who will have sex with them, and women say they are interested in guys who will share their feelings. Unfortunately, this is a lie in both cases. Oh, yeah, a guy will be interested in having sex with a woman who is offering just that, but she won't get anything else. In fact, a woman who just offers sex is called a lot of unpleasant things.

    Well, maybe girls will be interested in sharing their feelings with a guy who is offering just that... but will he be getting anything else? Most likely he'll be called a lot of unpleasant things.

    When a guy says he want's to see your knockers, do you show them? Not every time, huh? So why is it that you expect a guy to just open up every time you want to look at his soul? I suspect that a lot of people think that their souls are a little bit more personal than their skin.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • they can't trust

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What Guys Said 19

  • Because society and even other guys/women have us believe it's "weakness". Plus, a lot of guys are just uncomfortable in general opening up. It's not something we enjoy or want to do. Women like to talk about it (which is healthy), but guys generally just want to keep it to themselves. It's unfortunate, but the way it is.

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  • We aren't some deep brooding well of emotion that we hide from women. If you feel we "aren't opening up", most of the time there's probably nothing more to open up to.

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  • because they haven't broken yet. they haven't been through enough shit in life to have to open up to someone therefore keep that brickwall active. it's also a masculinity thing. but personally I've been through the point where I broke and told and cried to everyone I cared about and now if someone wants to know idc care who they are they asked for it so they get the deep truth. hope this helps

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  • guys are raised that way. some are like bricks due to experience. don't worry it takes time for them to open up but they do.

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  • we are expected to solve our own shit, our SO's, our family's and her family's. we are expected to be tough and do these things. how are you supposed to be strong for others when you cry on your own problems?

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  • Coz they need time and will get attached to you once they start opening up and you start doing the same, and it'll seriously take a long time for guys to get over someone with whom they've opened up and trusted

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  • when we do we are laughed at. your damned either way so most of us would rather be brick walls

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    • well I'm trying to break through a brick wall rn and this isn't help I don't know what to do

    • breaking down a wall by force will not do child. you must wither it away with water. like sand on a beach it will slowly be removed untill it is gone

  • Because they dont find talking with girls interesting. Whatever they say is their effort to impress the girl. Nothing else. They dont just open up to you untill you are a good friend.

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  • cuz society made us think that emotional guys are lonely, weak, desperate.. etc

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  • maybe they are brick walls in the end. jk maybe they want to look like a real tough manly man. i open up pretty easily tbh

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  • we aren't rised to and dating is a realy unnatural situation where everyone is nervous

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  • we dont hide shit

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    • well I didn't say that you guys did, I just said some guys don't open up

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    • so guys are just zombie 😒

    • I don't know how to explain it.. but we aren't girls... I never seen my dad cry before and I haven't cried since I was 13... its no point. whats crying gonna do? we just rather not talk about it. Guys don't talk about r feelings together lol not like girls do... I don't know its how god made us and I love it

  • because they might have been hurt in the past.

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  • because they think you won't get them or u might think they r weak

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  • men do jus need to approach it a different way

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  • huh? I be always been open... I didn't know that guys were like that... probably hiding shit

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  • They're shy...

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  • because as a girl you only date real men. You love that they don't open up. Plenty of guy do open up, those are the guy you label as beta an unmanly.

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