But let me explain what's going on inside my head atm.
Because of the lack of trust I had in the relationship, I saw he liked loads of girls pictures on Instagram. I didn't go looking for trouble, I just found it during that period. Now even though it's over, I still wanna look at the accounts. I don't know why. My head knows it's a bad idea... but I have this uncontrollable urge to look, and if I don't... I can't even describe the feeling. Makes me feel ill I guess, and it feels like I have to, like a sharp pain if I don't. I get really apprehensive. I am trying to control it like, he likes other peoples pictures and he's your ex your free... yet the feeling won't go away.
Does anyone have any advice cause I really would like to persue the other guy I like, but this is really hard to deal with I can't lie.
Most Helpful Guy
My impression and, of course, I could be wrong: The problem here is that what your ex did removed any control which you had over the situation and you felt powerless. Helpless and hopeless is a breeding ground for depression and your instinct to pry further is really an attempt to reassert your control over what happened. You need to give yourself reminders that letting go and not prying into the details is, itself, an assertion of your desire to regain control and to do so in a much healthier way than staying mired in the past.
Does any of that sound true for you?1
Most Helpful Girl
My guess is you're not over him, you might be mentally over him (where your brain is like, yes, it's a good thing it ended) but you might not be emotionally over him (hence the desire to want to look at those instagram accounts because you still care about him and thus still care about the pictures of other people that he follows/likes). Just because you logically know something doesn't mean you are there emotionally yet. I was logically over my ex before I was emotionally over him. Usually the logical realization happens before you get over him emotionally, so it does mean that the end is in sight, how long it'll take to get over him emotionally, I don't know, but it is coming.
The only advice is to keep doing what you're doing. No contact. Staying busy. Not thinking of him. Try not to give into your desire to check those accounts.
As for this new guy, as someone who dated someone a guy on the rebound, and as someone who is trying to date someone when I'm fairly recently out of a relationship, you should wait until you are emotionally over your ex, or else it's really not fair to you or the person you're dating. I won't say there is any particular time though, my ex dated me about 6 months after his relationship ended, but I don't think he was completely over his ex when he started to date me. On the flip side, when he broke up with me, it took me about 4 weeks to get over him. People move on at different speeds, so it's really on you to be self aware.1