Stay friends and risk more heart ache or move on?

Me and my girlfriend of 8 months broke up a couple weeks ago, in the end we both felt it was mutual. I can't seem to get over her,

i've tried everything, but I always seem to be back in the same spot. We end up talking, and telling each other how much we

miss one another and that we still have strong feelings for each other. I want to try it again, incredibly badly. But she has

been dating guys since she was 15 and just wants a chance to be single (I think this means she wants to play the field).

She said that it'll be months before she wants to date again, but she says she wants to remain friends. She says that she thinks about me all the time

and hopes we end up together after everything is said and done.

This of course makes it even harder to move on since I'm talking to her everyday.

Anyway, her mom says she's been talking to a few guys and but since she has a kid (who misses me like crazy apparently) she doesn't bring any of them around him, I guess it's mostly on a text basis. As her mom puts it, she doesn't want anything holding her back since she's trying to make a life for her and her son. But she also gets upset when I spend time with other girls, because she thinks that I'm sleeping with them, she doesn't seem to understand my reasoning about us not being together so she shouldn't care.

I guess what I'm really afraid of is her meeting someone and falling for them and deciding she wants to date them. I just know since we're close that I'll find out quickly and I'm not sure that's something I can survive. I just need to know if I should hang on and hope that it works out for us and risk getting my heart crushed or should I just cut off all communication and move on?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Move on. Don't wait for her and start dating other girls, don't try to get another girlfriend just date and have fun. She WILL find other guys to be with and then have the nerve to tell you about it. Eventually she will find the guy that she wants to be with and cut all contact with you, and that will crush you because all of your hopes and trying to keep her in your life would have been a waste of valuable time. Stop talking to her, and don't give an explanation because she doesn't deserve one. Being "friends" isn't an honor, it's an insult. It's a way to keep you around and ease the guilt. This thing about missing you is that she isn't going to if you are always there... Stop trying to reason with her about you seeing other girls while she wants to see other guys, she wants to have her cake and eat it too. She isn't entitled to get what she wants from you anymore since you are broken up. If she really wants to be with you then she would be without question. When most women says she needs "space" or wants to "take a break", she's got someone lined up already and she is trying to fit you into that situation without "hurting" you in the long run. Find someone that will appreciate your worth. Move forward and leave her behind. Let her catch up to you, but don't wait for her. This could be a blessing and you don't even know it. There could be a great woman right there in front of you that will give you more...

    • I like that: let her catch up to you, don't wait for her.

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What Girls Said 2

  • My advice is similar...Im going through a break up and want my ex back...Ive learned the hard way that texting, calling, professing your love etc will only drive your ex away. I've also read a lot of books on how to get love back, and they all agree that if you want someone back you need to drop off their radar - if she knows you're there, you're her safety need to cut off the safety net! She can't miss you and realize how much she loves you if you're go out, have fun, take lots of pics of yourself having fun and post them on facebook so she can see what she's missing!

  • Take a break. You're focusing on this way too much - I know I've been there. She needs space to figure things out, you can't figure it out for her. But what you can do is focus on yourself. You're important too. Stop calling and texting. If she asks why tell her the truth, that you both need your space right now. You don't have to close the door completely, just for right now. Give yourself time to figure out your own life - career, hobbies, friends, and so on. Go out and have fun with other girls, but be honest with yourself and them about how you feel. If you feel a connection with another girl go with it. If not, don't force it. No one can know what the future holds, ya gotta just go with the flow.


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